So...first time poster but what happened today is still bugging the hell out of me. Long story short (very short) I have always had a really tense and strained relationship with my mom. It's been a power struggle between us for as long as I can remember (her trying to control me/be in control and me trying to get her to understand me/treat me as an adult-I'm 30 now).
So anyway, today I had a picnic birthday party with a bunch of friends at an outdoor park location and my mom was there along with several friends. She offered to hold my
Daughter (6 months) while I played dodge ball a few feet away with some friends.
At one point, my little one fell asleep so my mom asked if we could put her in the stroller so she could be in the shade. So we put her in the stroller and I went back to the game.
A couple minutes later I looked over and there was no mom, no baby, and no stroller by the picnic tables a few feet away. I left the game and asked a few of my friends if my mom had gone somewhere and they didn't know-she didn't say anything.
I walked up the path about 1/4-1/2 mile away and found my mom walking with my little one who was asleep in the stroller. (Completely out of sight of the party). I basically said "hey I was worried-where did you guys go??" (Not in an angry voice just like a 'what the hell' voice). She acted completely nonchalant and was like we are just on a walk relax you don't need to worry. I told her that I would take it from here (again super calm not grabbing anything or yelling) and she said "oh you got it ok whatever" and turned and walked back to the party really fast
So fast forward to when I could get a private moment with her (nobody at the party was really involved and there was no giant scene). I told her I was not trying to offend her but I needed her to tell me if she was going to take my little one on a walk because when I looked up and she wasn't around I was worried. She rolled her eyes and sadly shook her head and basically put on a big show of acting like I was being completely ridiculous
She was saying things like "there is no reason for you to worry when she is with me" and "when you guys were with my mom I didn't worry" etc. I reiterated that it wasn't her that was the problem (half true) but that if anyone left with the baby without telling me where they were going I would be worried (all true). She just struck to her guns and told
Me I shouldn't be worried and that I embarrassed her.
I think the worst part is that she thinks she can be in control of my daughter and not consult with me about these things. And if I disagree I'm completely overreacting. Ugh!
Any thoughts? Tips? Anything?
So anyway, today I had a picnic birthday party with a bunch of friends at an outdoor park location and my mom was there along with several friends. She offered to hold my
Daughter (6 months) while I played dodge ball a few feet away with some friends.
At one point, my little one fell asleep so my mom asked if we could put her in the stroller so she could be in the shade. So we put her in the stroller and I went back to the game.
A couple minutes later I looked over and there was no mom, no baby, and no stroller by the picnic tables a few feet away. I left the game and asked a few of my friends if my mom had gone somewhere and they didn't know-she didn't say anything.
I walked up the path about 1/4-1/2 mile away and found my mom walking with my little one who was asleep in the stroller. (Completely out of sight of the party). I basically said "hey I was worried-where did you guys go??" (Not in an angry voice just like a 'what the hell' voice). She acted completely nonchalant and was like we are just on a walk relax you don't need to worry. I told her that I would take it from here (again super calm not grabbing anything or yelling) and she said "oh you got it ok whatever" and turned and walked back to the party really fast
So fast forward to when I could get a private moment with her (nobody at the party was really involved and there was no giant scene). I told her I was not trying to offend her but I needed her to tell me if she was going to take my little one on a walk because when I looked up and she wasn't around I was worried. She rolled her eyes and sadly shook her head and basically put on a big show of acting like I was being completely ridiculous
She was saying things like "there is no reason for you to worry when she is with me" and "when you guys were with my mom I didn't worry" etc. I reiterated that it wasn't her that was the problem (half true) but that if anyone left with the baby without telling me where they were going I would be worried (all true). She just struck to her guns and told
Me I shouldn't be worried and that I embarrassed her.
I think the worst part is that she thinks she can be in control of my daughter and not consult with me about these things. And if I disagree I'm completely overreacting. Ugh!
Any thoughts? Tips? Anything?