My relationship with my SIL has always kind of been cool. In the beginning I tried to build a relationship with her, but she mostly made me feel like I was irrelevant. Wouldn't really interact much with me, ignored my attempts to get together or be friends. I remember once in the earlier years writing to her "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIL! Would love to get together for a drink to celebrate. Hope you have an amazing day!!" which she replied, "thanks." My husband texted her also, his said "hey happy bday" and she replied "thanks so much lil bro!!!!! XO". Ok that is petty of me to mention but it just kind of gives you an idea. Her and my DH are not close (they mostly just chat at family get togethers). It was this way long before I entered the picture. I think she has really craved a closer relationship with him and I honestly feel that's why she's always been stand offish with me, jealousy or something? Anyways i stopped trying and just went with the flow eventually.
When I got pregnant she was so nice to me. She planned a beautiful shower for me and we became kind of close, well we'd chat and get together and it was nice. My DS was born and at a few weeks old he became critically ill. We ended up in hospital over a month. I asked that she and her kids not come to visit because they all had the flu. It wasn't only her that we asked not to visit- I have siblings and asked that they all not visit. Only grandparents, and only for limited times. It was a very traumatic time and visiting was not on the agenda.
When we were finally discharged and home, my SIL immediately started texting me asking when she could see my DS (she had already seen him twice between his birth and when he got sick btw). He had a lot of follow up appointments at this time, however I did let her know a day the following week that would work for us, but it'd have to be before 1pm. She got angry. She said for me to let her know if there will EVER be a day she can see him without having to be penciled in. I gave her a piece of my mind, although I should have said much more. She ended up calling later that evening and apologizing (it seemed genuine).I was struggling with anxiety and PTSD after my son having been so sick, and the fact I had to deal with this BS during that time really just angers me to think of now. (I also had similar issues with MIL going on but that's for a whole other thread).
Ever since then, we have resumed our at arms length relationship.
Recently things have become very cool between us. she has completely stopped communicating with me and only goes through my husband now. I have no idea why. It's great and fine with me except that she is constantly trying to see my son, and I guess it bothers me that she assumes she will still see my son but not have to speak to me. My DH either ignores the text or just says no that doesn't work or whatever.
Her most recent text came in today, asking my husband to bring my DS to her place so she can watch him one day soon.
I'm his mother shouldn't it be me she asks if she can babysit him? And why is she asking to babysit him? We don't need a babysitter. Wouldn't it be more acceptable to have asked us all to get together? Am I being overly sensitive to things? My DH did not respond to the text and I'm wondering, should he address the real issue here? Or just BH? I feel like she thinks I am irrelevant and she will go to her brother when she wants to see my DS. Am I wrong?
When I got pregnant she was so nice to me. She planned a beautiful shower for me and we became kind of close, well we'd chat and get together and it was nice. My DS was born and at a few weeks old he became critically ill. We ended up in hospital over a month. I asked that she and her kids not come to visit because they all had the flu. It wasn't only her that we asked not to visit- I have siblings and asked that they all not visit. Only grandparents, and only for limited times. It was a very traumatic time and visiting was not on the agenda.
When we were finally discharged and home, my SIL immediately started texting me asking when she could see my DS (she had already seen him twice between his birth and when he got sick btw). He had a lot of follow up appointments at this time, however I did let her know a day the following week that would work for us, but it'd have to be before 1pm. She got angry. She said for me to let her know if there will EVER be a day she can see him without having to be penciled in. I gave her a piece of my mind, although I should have said much more. She ended up calling later that evening and apologizing (it seemed genuine).I was struggling with anxiety and PTSD after my son having been so sick, and the fact I had to deal with this BS during that time really just angers me to think of now. (I also had similar issues with MIL going on but that's for a whole other thread).
Ever since then, we have resumed our at arms length relationship.
Recently things have become very cool between us. she has completely stopped communicating with me and only goes through my husband now. I have no idea why. It's great and fine with me except that she is constantly trying to see my son, and I guess it bothers me that she assumes she will still see my son but not have to speak to me. My DH either ignores the text or just says no that doesn't work or whatever.
Her most recent text came in today, asking my husband to bring my DS to her place so she can watch him one day soon.
I'm his mother shouldn't it be me she asks if she can babysit him? And why is she asking to babysit him? We don't need a babysitter. Wouldn't it be more acceptable to have asked us all to get together? Am I being overly sensitive to things? My DH did not respond to the text and I'm wondering, should he address the real issue here? Or just BH? I feel like she thinks I am irrelevant and she will go to her brother when she wants to see my DS. Am I wrong?