Hi everyone,
I have a situation here regarding my FOO that I would like advice on.
FOO = Mom, Dad, Myself, & Younger Sister (18 y/o).
My dad's mother left my sister and I $90,000 when she passed away in 2007. My sister was only 10 at the time, and I was 20.
I had access to the funds immediately, whereas my sister's amount was in my dad's hands until she reached college age. I used it for my undergraduate degree, it helped me out tremendously with my divorce from ExH, I bought myself a car that I still drive, and used it for a down payment to my house. Still have about $30K of it left.
My dad passed away 2.5 years ago. After he died, we discovered that he had spent 90% of the money that was for my sister. My mom "suspected" that he had done something with it a long time ago, but the rugsweeping between the two of them was strong, so she never confronted him on it. She loves to play the victim about it now, though.
Now YS is ready for college. I don't feel right still having $30K in my account, which I didn't earn, while she has next to nothing, all because our dad was a douche-bag. I've offered to give YS a good chunk of my remaining cash to use exclusively towards college, but here's my dilemma.
Her plans for college change every time I see her, and she is currently wanting to double-major in theater and criminal justice. That's great, and no offense to anybody who may have taken that route, but I will not financially support her in that. I'll emotionally support it, but I will not fund it.
The reason why I feel so strongly against that is because YS has no plans for how she will utilize either of those degrees, and I'm not willing to drop the cash that I've saved for so many years on something that she just wants to do for funsies. If she could come up with a list of careers that require either of those degrees, and include how much money those careers would generate, this would be a different conversation. But she doesn't have a clue, and gets very defensive and emotional when questioned. It's not that I'm against those two degrees in general, it's just that she has put ZERO thought into it.
So please advise me, DWIL. I know that I don't *HAVE* to give YS any money at all. I know that my dad's fuck-ups aren't my fault, and my mother's habit of looking the other way also isn't my fault. I don't have this fantasy of coming in like a knight on a white horse and saving the day. I feel wrong keeping the money to myself, though, but I also refuse to watch it be wasted. Out of everybody in my family who received an inheritence, I'm the only one who has ANYTHING left.
Even though YS is an entitled brat, and I have next to no relationship with her, I really do want to invest my money in helping her establish her own career. I want her to choose something that will allow her to become financially independent one day, just like I was before I became a SAHM. The money was a huge asset to me in getting my life established, and even though I don't get along with YS at all, she's my baby sister and I want to honor our grandma's wishes by giving her that good start, too.
WWYD?
Edited to remove a word & fix weird font sizing.
