So, I developed contamination OCD when I was pregnant with my DS. That was almost 4 years ago. I've had lots of therapy, been on a high dose of Zoloft... then I got pregnant again. Whoops. DH and I have been using the pill as our form of birth control for 12 years and it always worked (went off when I decided to conceive DS). My anixety, depression, and OCD are back in full force. I legit have trouble just making it through the day without breaking down. I had a TO with both my MIL and Mom before DS was a year old because my mental health just couldn't take them anymore. It was all about how I was hurting them by not letting them do whatever they wanted with their grandson. My OB currently doesn't recommend Zoloft because she says they are seeing evidence of withdrawal in babies. She did write me a script in case I needed it, but didn't recommend it. So, of course I feel awful about it. I haven't started it again yet (went off at beginning of pregnancy). I'm due at the beginning of August.
Anyway, my issue is because my Aunt has bed bugs. Well, "had" bed bugs. She had them in June of 2015 because my cousin's boyfriend's family is disgusting and they keep them. My cousin would come home and shower, but not wash her clothes. They got infested. My cousin also has a baby with her boyfriend. They separated and weren't around each other for a long time. So, around January of this year they started secretly seeing each other again and my Aunt's house got infested again. My Aunt came in for Easter and stayed at my other Aunt's house (infested Aunt lives 4 hours away). They didn't tell me she was there because her house was being treated again. I found out when I walked by their car and noticed everything in totes. I was pissed. Went home, put everything straight into the wash. Cried lots of hormonal, non-medicated tears. So, then my Mom goes to my infested Aunt's house (she said it was treated and there were no bugs) for spring break right after Easter. Cousin is still going back and forth to bed bug boyfriend's house.
So, I see my Mom yesterday and she is talking about all the clothes she picked up from yard sales for baby girl. When I was pregnant with my DS, I told her many times that I didn't want used clothing from unknown sources. We were at a birthday party for a younger cousin and she announces that she bought me so much and asked me if I will take it this time. I said no, she knows how I feel about that. *Cue evil looks from several relatives.* She talked about the stuff she has for DS in her car. And then later on about how she is going out to visit infested Aunt again in a week (I know her house has been treated twice to the tune of 5,000... but cousin is still going back and forth between houses and from what I've read, bed bugs are hard to get rid of).
She gave my son a little tennis set and I put it outside by our trash when I got home. I really cannot deal with the possibility of bed bugs. It bothers me that it was in her car with her luggage and that my DH put it in our car. I really don't want anything from her. I told her that. I honestly don't even know if I want her to come to the hospital when DD is born.
I asked her to please respect me and she said once I learned how to respect her, she would respect me. I'm 30. I raised myself due to numerous circumstances. I don't go to her house because she smokes (two plus packs a day), has animals that poop and pee everywhere (she just wipes with a paper towel and doesn't sanitize), and I have a brother who is 23 who is mentally ill (very intelligent though), as in he won't see a doctor, won't do anything for himself, and hasn't been out in public since he was 18. He was homebound the last two years of high school. My Mom doesn't do anything but enable him. He is violent and she insists he is so sweet.
I just cannot get my Mom to stop trying to push me. She tells me about how I should just be so happy that I am creating new life and I've told her not everyone feels the same way. I don't want to have this extreme anxiety, but it's there. I've tried to tell her to please accept me the way that I am, but she won't. She tells me I just need to relax and quit making things so hard on myself. I wish I could!
I don't even know what I need help with at this point. Am I overreacting a lot about the bed bug issue? She also has mice living in her home along with pantry moths galore. She wants to "help" me, but ends up just just getting mad at me when I don't want her to help the way she wants. She talks negatively about me to my family and they tell me I need to respect and honor her because she is my mother. I hate the person anxiety/OCD has made me and I have a lot of depression stemming from it. I just feel like I am having to deal with too much crap from her and that it triggers a lot of my anxiety.
