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now i feel guilty for the rules

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So a while back i had a problem with MIL she is out of her mind! Me and DH had agreed that when the time come in L&D we wanted nobody inside. Just me and him. My parents were ok with it FIL was ok with but MIL went nuts! Insisting that she should be there for my company and comfort and such. I had told her many times no and i dont feel comfortable with her in there. She kept insisiting for two freaking weeks that she should be in there and then said because i need an experience woman in the delivery room with me (im a ftm) i had told her if i NEEDED some one with experience it would be my mom because MY MOM had six kids total while SHE only had one which is my dh.. Anyway we were still living with the IL at the time and we had said we are moving out a month or so before the baby is born just so they wont be soo hurt about their only child leaving. But she drove us crazy sooo much that we just had to move out to our own apartment a mile away.. It is very small so obviously we have to move out when the baby is born. But when we moved out we decided to tell them at the very exact moment we are moving out the house and she went nuts she insisted on us staying because we are "just kids" and cant sustain ourself. Im 19 and DH is 20. DH and FIL got soo mad when she said that she was going to move in with us because we cant make it ourself so they had a huuge argument with her and in the end she decided to not to come with us only because FIL said he was going to divorce her if she was going to move in with us but that wasnt after a 2 hr argument.. She was still insisting on being there for L&D when we moved out to the point DH gave up but didnt tell her anything until i give him permission to but i wasnt going to give up.. One day i woke up to DH shouting so i went to go check up on him and see if he was ok. He was on the fone the last thing i heard before he hang up was "SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE" he refused to tell me that morning and went to work later that night he apologized for bieng rude and didnt tell me because he was furious and was afraid to blow up on my face.. His argument was with his mother. She had called to tell him that she was ready to buy all the baby necessities so when the baby is born i could go to work and she could take care of our child! We had also discussed this. After our baby is born i wasnt going to work anymore. The idea pissed him off soo much that he had said that she isnt allowed to come visit us or know anything about the baby updates and isnt allowed near the baby until after 2weeks she had been born. But she can still contact him and only him after 5pm everyday when he comes back from work and i am there to hear what the conversation was about. He made all the decisions by himself that morning. She drove us that crazy to the point we had to cut her off like that.. FASTFOWARD to today.. So friday we went to visit my parents and they already know we are having a girl and had asked for our permission to buy the car seat for our baby, we agreed to it because they had asked permission first but they cant buy it until im at least 7months.. We found them in the store on Saturday looking at car seats we went to go greet them and everything. They had told us that they havent bought anything yet they are just looking which car seat is the best one to buy so they already have some sort of an idea when they do decide to buy one so we were ok with it.. Yesterday my MIL decides to call us and said that she already bought a crib for us! We were calm but irritated and asked her why? She said bcz she saw my parents at a store looking at car seats and thought if they were gonna buy something for the baby then she should too. DH asked if she even said hi to them, she said no bcz she saw no reasons to say hi to my parents. THAT irritated me alot but i didnt say anything but DH went off on her saying that they are part of the family now and just cant ignore them like that. And also told her to return the crib that she didnt had permission to do that. That she should've asked what was going on first before she took action. That the only reason my parents were looking at carseats was bcz we gave them permission and they were just looking in advance but never bought nothing yet and that if she wanted to help she should have asked permission too and not go off and just buying it. DH is really strict with our first baby and isnt letting nobody help unless they asked permission first.. MIL was offended and refuses to return it but DH already said that he isnt going to take it..

Yea my MIL is a pain but i still respect her very much but we cant just let her do things they way she wants to do them. I feel bad for treating her the way we are i think that we should be less strick on her but im scared that she is going to want to do things her way like she wanted to do before. Thats why DH is strick on the baby stuff because he is afraid of having other people taking over his child. Are we doing the right thing or not?? I really feel bad i honestly do but DH isnt regretting none of his decisions he is very firm on his word.. Are we doing wrong?? Should we cut of some of the rules for MIL??

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