BG:http://community.babycenter.com/post/a53192713/upsetdaddy_cont.ud_368121839414249556770767884869093?cpg=98#c2479880678
I have happy to update you all that things are going well for us. I can finally say that DW has officially dropped the u from her Duw status. When I left off DW had told MIL that she could come visit but that she had to come alone as we were no longer allowing SA around us or LO. MIL refused to come without him and tried to get us to meet up to talk with them which we refused to do.
We have had nothing but peace since that day. We have not been fighting, and have enjoyed raising our LO who is now about 7 weeks old. DW has come to realize that MIL and SA brought a lot of drama to our relationship, and that MIL was just as much to blame for the way things are as SA is. DW has told me that since MIL wants a relationship only if she can bring SA along that we will not have one. DW decided that since MIL always puts SA's selfish wants ahead of everyone else that they can just have each other.
She has admitted to me that she still feels responsible for MIL's feelings at times, but that it is nothing to the responsibility she feels for our LO. She knows that if they will lie to us about little things like grandparent names and defriending us on the debil that they will lie to us about big things as well. She also accepted the fact that they cant ever be trusted to care for LO since they have proved that they will put their own wants above his and our needs every time.
She told me that the only way going forward that MIL could establish a relationship with us is if MIL actually accepts responsibility for her and SA's actions and actually makes amends for them. She wants to see real change from MIL before she will give her another chance. MIL has sent one text that was a attempted rugsweep (she acted like nothing was wrong) and it was BH. I am proud of the fact that it is no longer me standing my ground but DW standing her own.
We had a therapy appt today and it also went very well. DW got confirmation that she is making the right choices as far as they are concerned. The doctor pointed out that we have not been arguing and that her stress levels are way down since she is realizing that MIL's happiness is not something she should feel responsible for. He told her that he was proud of the progress that she had made because he knows it is hard to overcome that type of programming. DW did say to us both that she knows she does have a way to go since she still does have unicorn feelings, but she is working on it.
I really hope that things can continue on the path that they are on now. In a way I blame myself that it took this long as real change did not start to happen until I finally dug in my heels and refused to budge. Either way things have improved.
Here are a few tidbits for the llamas. We have both blocked SA from the debil and I have blocked MIL. DW did not want to block MIL so she could see the posts that DW made about us spending time with FIL. Yea it is a little petty, but MIL deserves it and she can see that by treating us properly FIL gets to spend time with LO. We are not worried about her trying to steal pics off of the debil to play GMOTY since many have FIL's family in them, plus MIL has none to post with her and LO. DW also wants to keep being able to see MIL's page since she has posted a lot of those martyr type memes which shows us that she still has not learned anything and thinks she is the victim.