Okay, so last night my fmil literally flipped out and stormed out of the room after i answered a question she had about crib bedding. Here's what happened: my fiance and I were outside in the carport/sitting area with fmil talking about the twins im having in May. Fmil asked me if we picked out names yet. I didn't want to tell her because she's made fun of them in the past when we were still deciding, but I gave in because fiance wanted to tell her. She hates the names we have picked, and even asked if we "got off the Keegan kick yet". I told her "good thing we're the parents then because these are the names we're sticking with". Anyway, after that she asked me if we have decided on a theme for the crib bedding. I told her i wasnt going to use crib bedding sets because im not using bumpers or anything anyway. She got offended and asked why i wouldn't use a blanket in their cribs, and i explained to her that it's not safe to use them. She kept telling me that it's bullshit that i think that and that the doctors are wrong blah blah and that sids isnt really a big deal and that i dont know what i am talking about and she raised 2 kids and they're just fine etc. I politely explained that it is just an outdated idea and that we know better now, and that i dont blame her for following the guidelines that she was given 20 years ago for her children. My fiance stood up for me and said that i am correct, and that it is a suffocation risk and that we are the parents. She got pissed because he said that he is going to quit smoking before the babies come and that everyone who does smoke will need to wash their hands, change clothes, and wait at least 20 minutes after smoking before coming near the twins. She then stormed off cussing and ranting about how "my kids arent dead and i smoked when they were inside me and around them and theyre just fine".
Im just so confused on what to say because we are just trying to establish boundaries since we are currently and will be living with them for at least a few months after the twins are born due to financial reasons. Any advice? Im sorry it's so long, it's just a lot happened. I want to bring her to a doctor's appointment so she can hear the truth but i mentioned it and she said "i would laugh in their face". Advice? How do i set boundaries? (Fiance is supportive) (edited to correct errors)
Im just so confused on what to say because we are just trying to establish boundaries since we are currently and will be living with them for at least a few months after the twins are born due to financial reasons. Any advice? Im sorry it's so long, it's just a lot happened. I want to bring her to a doctor's appointment so she can hear the truth but i mentioned it and she said "i would laugh in their face". Advice? How do i set boundaries? (Fiance is supportive) (edited to correct errors)