My sister is 34, no kids yet, and very sweet - but I think completely oblivious.
She announced her wedding around the same time we announced we are expecting or first. Her wedding was at a venue down the hill from is, 10 minutes, 3 weeks after baby. I was reluctant, but figured I old swing it since she's my sister. DH would be with the kid at home and I could pop in. She asked me to be maid of honour and I said that isn't a good idea- I'm going to be busy and it would be better to have your best friend instead.
Well she bought me a bridesmaid dress and shoes, and has now changed her venue to an hour away at a lake. PIL have a cottage there so we could stay with the LO and I could still attend. But I did tell her- LO will be 3-6 weeks, and I don't know what it's goi. To be like or how I'm going to feel. She keeps saying ok baby comes first! We'll play it by ear!
But now she's sending me photos of hair and make up she wants to do on us (she's a hairdresser). At 9 am. Wedding is at 1, photos after, then dinner reception. I said that's like 12 hours! I can't be away that long. I have to feed the baby- I plan to breast feed. She suggested I pump for DH. I don't know for sure hat will work or if I'll have supply or if she will take a bottle?!
We had a BBQ Mother's Day for both families, and my in laws know my sister since she lived with us for a year a decade ago. Thy we're excited for her wedding and she said "Oh but you'll be babysitting or I'd invite you! DH jumped in and said no, he will be with LO - so gold star there. But if we use their cabin, they will be there. MIL texted me she can't wait for DS wedding (ie so she can babysit).
Am I over reacting? It's stressing me out and I don't want to miss her wedding, but it feels like a LOT of unknowns. I really want to let her know I'd rather just show up as a guest for the ceremony. I don't want to leave my one month old for hours. I've tried explaining that to her- plus I'll be tired and possibly still sore and bleeding, but she keeps saying "of you don't have to help with set up and take down, you can pop in between photos/ceremony/etc )
I feel like I KNOW I won't be up for a whole day and she's going to resent me when it comes. My mother isn't helping either. She keeps saying I'll be fine, and she was up and shopping the day after giving birth (AND wearing her size 0 jeans the day after.... MOO is a liar by the way but DS for some reason still believes her).
Am I over reacting? Is a wedding one month post partum not a big deal? If it is how do I handle this now?
She announced her wedding around the same time we announced we are expecting or first. Her wedding was at a venue down the hill from is, 10 minutes, 3 weeks after baby. I was reluctant, but figured I old swing it since she's my sister. DH would be with the kid at home and I could pop in. She asked me to be maid of honour and I said that isn't a good idea- I'm going to be busy and it would be better to have your best friend instead.
Well she bought me a bridesmaid dress and shoes, and has now changed her venue to an hour away at a lake. PIL have a cottage there so we could stay with the LO and I could still attend. But I did tell her- LO will be 3-6 weeks, and I don't know what it's goi. To be like or how I'm going to feel. She keeps saying ok baby comes first! We'll play it by ear!
But now she's sending me photos of hair and make up she wants to do on us (she's a hairdresser). At 9 am. Wedding is at 1, photos after, then dinner reception. I said that's like 12 hours! I can't be away that long. I have to feed the baby- I plan to breast feed. She suggested I pump for DH. I don't know for sure hat will work or if I'll have supply or if she will take a bottle?!
We had a BBQ Mother's Day for both families, and my in laws know my sister since she lived with us for a year a decade ago. Thy we're excited for her wedding and she said "Oh but you'll be babysitting or I'd invite you! DH jumped in and said no, he will be with LO - so gold star there. But if we use their cabin, they will be there. MIL texted me she can't wait for DS wedding (ie so she can babysit).
Am I over reacting? It's stressing me out and I don't want to miss her wedding, but it feels like a LOT of unknowns. I really want to let her know I'd rather just show up as a guest for the ceremony. I don't want to leave my one month old for hours. I've tried explaining that to her- plus I'll be tired and possibly still sore and bleeding, but she keeps saying "of you don't have to help with set up and take down, you can pop in between photos/ceremony/etc )
I feel like I KNOW I won't be up for a whole day and she's going to resent me when it comes. My mother isn't helping either. She keeps saying I'll be fine, and she was up and shopping the day after giving birth (AND wearing her size 0 jeans the day after.... MOO is a liar by the way but DS for some reason still believes her).
Am I over reacting? Is a wedding one month post partum not a big deal? If it is how do I handle this now?