I have been a BBC member for a few years now and first wanted to thank all you DWIL ladies for helping me develop a spine and giving my FOO the CO it desperately needed. I will give as much backgroud as I can for this post but seriously there is enough to feed your llamas for years.
BG: My mom is the biggest narcissit I have ever met. My SF just encourages and fuels her BSC. They got married when I was 5 (on my birthday by the way. just up and left for vegas leaving us with grandma) and honestly the BSC has been going on ever since.
I have 9 brothers and sisters, 5 from her, 2 step siblings and 3 from my dad and step mom. My youngest brother was born when sis and I were 13 and we raised him. No exaggeration, my mom put us in homeschooling so that she could go back to work all day and we took care of a newborn with a seizure disorder and a toddler.
I have been dealing with my mom pulling her crazy for years and it wasnt until I had my DS 2 years ago that I realized that I was not this awful terrible person she claimed I was. And that everything she ever did to me I would NEVER do to my son.
For BG purposes the final straw for CO happened almost 2 years ago. The toddler I mentioned earlier is now 16 and has sadly inherited my moms BSC. She has always been known for making up dramatic stories for attention. Some ranged from harmless to so crazy and life destroying that you wonder what is going on in her mind. EXAMPLE: when I was 15 she went to my parents and said that I was sneaking a boy into the house in the middle of the night and having sex with him in the garage and that one night she caught us and made her swear not to tell. It took her 3 days to fess up that she made it up. My parents did not punish her in anyway since "she was so cute for wanting to be apart of everything" During those three days my SD almost killed the boy with a bat, moved me into a room with no door and called me every sick and disgusting name you can think of. FOR THREE DAYS. This is just one example.
The most recent CO involved a lie that she told that would have ruined my life. It was terrible and disturbing and of course my mom and SD believed her. Actually all of my siblings did except for one. I recieved nasty messages from all of them, they showed up at my house one time screaming at my face in front of my DS and I had to threaten to call the cops and even then they only left because my SD dragged them out. That was almost 2 years ago and my CO mom STILL tries and contacts my sis and I to this day.
I have her blocked on everything but she keeps making new accounts, or shell drop off stuff at my house.
So all this BG and explanation to say that I miss my brother. He is 9 years old and has no idea the extent of everything going on. I miss him enormously and so does my sis. Whats hard is we have no way to contact him at all and even if we did we cant because of the BSC from mom. What makes it harder is that my DS sometimes will make facial expressions or do things that are just like him and I seriously bawl my eyes out (Im pregnant again so im guessing hormones are a huge part of it)
I need advice on not how to contact him, but how to get through not being able to contact him and knowing he is dealing with my BSC mom now and probably going through all kinds of terrible things. Has anyone ever CO someone and had siblings reach out in the future? Should I reach out to him one day when he is older on his own?
Thanks for reading and I apologize for any spelling mistakes. Typing this with a 2 year old climbing me is hard.
