I'll try from keeping this too wordy, but that probably won't happen. I'm just going to start from the beginning & hope someone can give me some advice!
Several years ago my boyfriend and I were living on our own, working, in college, while slowly falling into debt. Our lease for our apartment was coming to an end and his mother offered for us to move cross country to live with her and her husband, that way we can just focus on college. We agreed! It went amazingly, I built a beautiful relationship with his mother as well.
I ended up getting pregnant (was on birth control) and this is where things went down hill. The moment she found out she was super excited for us, and I loved that I was going to have a 'mom' close to me to help me navigate pregnancy! However things didn't turn out that way. At all. Her husband bought *her* a stroller & crib for Christmas. This was 100% solely for her, they made that very clear. I found this kind of weird. She kept going on about how she was going to take my baby, and kidnap her and hide really well with her stuff. I mentioned this to my mom & granny to see if this was normal new grandparent behavior, and they agreed it was a little odd. I just brushed it off as her being uber excited for her first grandchild.
Then she kept telling everyone that I'm pregnant with her baby. And that she will be called Mama *her name* & Mom *her name*. This made me feel sooooo uncomfortable! So this is when my boyfriend intervened and said that she can be grandma, that mama/mom would be my title.
Once my DD was born we told his parents to come visit with their new grandchild before my mom and sister flew in, because they'd be spending lots of time with her since they traveled so far. Well. His parents didn't. They decided to do yard work. So I just figured maybe they weren't ready? My mom and sister came, for a week and hung out with us. We tried getting his parents involved but they just wouldn't. So we gave up.
Once my mom and sister left, we saw his mom crying clutching her husbands hand on the couch. We asked if she was okay and we were told 'you kept our grandbaby away from us.' WHAT?! We tried countless times to get them to see her! So I brought DD out there and his mom literally snatched her from my arms and stomped off to her bedroom with my baby.
Fast forward to now (DD is 11 weeks) things are not any better. Anytime I would leave the room with DD, his mom swoops in and always tries to just take her. Even when I have her in my sling, she tries sticking her hands in there to take her. Sometimes without even speaking to me. W
Also, we've found out that my DD is allergic to the pets and were told to keep her from the areas they hang out in to help minimize her reactions. So that leaves us just to one bedroom. Within 10 minutes of bringing DD out of the room, she breaks out in rashes, eyes red, so congested that she won't nurse for hours, and constant sneezes/itchy eyes. So we just hang out in here and go out as much as we can.
This infuriates my boyfriends mom. She rolls her eyes at anything our DD pediatrician suggests. Questions anything we want regarding our daughter, and she now ignores me. She only speaks to her son and pretends I don't exist.
Lately she's taken to very obvious passive aggressive behaviors. Such as leaving notes on her stupid chalkboard in the kitchen with things like 'hold my baby' 'hold *hold*' 'alone time with baby'. It's just weird. Maybe if it said something like 'hold baby so mommy can take a bar' would have been better. I don't know /:
I mentioned to her how it made me feel awkward and like I'm obligated to hand my baby to her all the time. She said 'well you live here so yes I'm entitled to as much time as I want with my baby.'
I just don't know what to do.
Several years ago my boyfriend and I were living on our own, working, in college, while slowly falling into debt. Our lease for our apartment was coming to an end and his mother offered for us to move cross country to live with her and her husband, that way we can just focus on college. We agreed! It went amazingly, I built a beautiful relationship with his mother as well.
I ended up getting pregnant (was on birth control) and this is where things went down hill. The moment she found out she was super excited for us, and I loved that I was going to have a 'mom' close to me to help me navigate pregnancy! However things didn't turn out that way. At all. Her husband bought *her* a stroller & crib for Christmas. This was 100% solely for her, they made that very clear. I found this kind of weird. She kept going on about how she was going to take my baby, and kidnap her and hide really well with her stuff. I mentioned this to my mom & granny to see if this was normal new grandparent behavior, and they agreed it was a little odd. I just brushed it off as her being uber excited for her first grandchild.
Then she kept telling everyone that I'm pregnant with her baby. And that she will be called Mama *her name* & Mom *her name*. This made me feel sooooo uncomfortable! So this is when my boyfriend intervened and said that she can be grandma, that mama/mom would be my title.
Once my DD was born we told his parents to come visit with their new grandchild before my mom and sister flew in, because they'd be spending lots of time with her since they traveled so far. Well. His parents didn't. They decided to do yard work. So I just figured maybe they weren't ready? My mom and sister came, for a week and hung out with us. We tried getting his parents involved but they just wouldn't. So we gave up.
Once my mom and sister left, we saw his mom crying clutching her husbands hand on the couch. We asked if she was okay and we were told 'you kept our grandbaby away from us.' WHAT?! We tried countless times to get them to see her! So I brought DD out there and his mom literally snatched her from my arms and stomped off to her bedroom with my baby.
Fast forward to now (DD is 11 weeks) things are not any better. Anytime I would leave the room with DD, his mom swoops in and always tries to just take her. Even when I have her in my sling, she tries sticking her hands in there to take her. Sometimes without even speaking to me. W
Also, we've found out that my DD is allergic to the pets and were told to keep her from the areas they hang out in to help minimize her reactions. So that leaves us just to one bedroom. Within 10 minutes of bringing DD out of the room, she breaks out in rashes, eyes red, so congested that she won't nurse for hours, and constant sneezes/itchy eyes. So we just hang out in here and go out as much as we can.
This infuriates my boyfriends mom. She rolls her eyes at anything our DD pediatrician suggests. Questions anything we want regarding our daughter, and she now ignores me. She only speaks to her son and pretends I don't exist.
Lately she's taken to very obvious passive aggressive behaviors. Such as leaving notes on her stupid chalkboard in the kitchen with things like 'hold my baby' 'hold *hold*' 'alone time with baby'. It's just weird. Maybe if it said something like 'hold baby so mommy can take a bar' would have been better. I don't know /:
I mentioned to her how it made me feel awkward and like I'm obligated to hand my baby to her all the time. She said 'well you live here so yes I'm entitled to as much time as I want with my baby.'
I just don't know what to do.