Posted this in another thread to relate to that OP and it was suggested I start a thread about it. BG-I am somewhat newly married and step-mom to 5 year old twins. DH takes the approach of "it's just easier not to make waves" with his parents, so it's not easy for me to effectively set boundaries. Anyway, it's not uncommon for them to set up things that don't really work well for our family. They can be a tad pushy and exacting, so they aren't flexible or accommodating. They love us, I love DH, everyone loves the kids, but we don't seem to be communicating well. Example below:
"My MIL can be similar with the grandma time vs bed time. Recently, we My MIL can be similar with the grandma time vs bed time. Recently, we went over for dinner/lunch at 3PM. We came not starving but ready to eat. It ended up with FIL doing yard work, MIL running errands with SIL, who leaves with them, and DH helping his dad. Leaving me to entertain two hungry kids in a house with no toys. Thank goodness for my tablet and the granola bar in my purse! We finally had dinner at 5:30, dessert at 7:00. After that and coffee (now almost 8:00 bedtime), we got up to leave, and they whined that they didn't get to spend time with the girls and we were just eating and leaving. Um, we've been in your house for four hours??went over for dinner/lunch at 3PM. We came not starving but ready to eat. It ended up with FIL doing yard work, MIL running errands with SIL, who leaves with them, and DH helping his dad. Leaving me to entertain two hungry kids in a house with no toys. Thank goodness for my tablet and the granola bar in my purse! We finally had dinner at 5:30, dessert at 7:00. After that and coffee (now almost 8:00 bedtime), we got up to leave, and they whined that they didn't get to spend time with the girls and we were just eating and leaving. Um, we've been in your house for four hours??"
I think the key here is making DUH see the need for boundaries. I see it, and I think in a way he does too, but he doesn't want to be in the middle and they're scarier than me I guess. So help me get scary!
"My MIL can be similar with the grandma time vs bed time. Recently, we My MIL can be similar with the grandma time vs bed time. Recently, we went over for dinner/lunch at 3PM. We came not starving but ready to eat. It ended up with FIL doing yard work, MIL running errands with SIL, who leaves with them, and DH helping his dad. Leaving me to entertain two hungry kids in a house with no toys. Thank goodness for my tablet and the granola bar in my purse! We finally had dinner at 5:30, dessert at 7:00. After that and coffee (now almost 8:00 bedtime), we got up to leave, and they whined that they didn't get to spend time with the girls and we were just eating and leaving. Um, we've been in your house for four hours??went over for dinner/lunch at 3PM. We came not starving but ready to eat. It ended up with FIL doing yard work, MIL running errands with SIL, who leaves with them, and DH helping his dad. Leaving me to entertain two hungry kids in a house with no toys. Thank goodness for my tablet and the granola bar in my purse! We finally had dinner at 5:30, dessert at 7:00. After that and coffee (now almost 8:00 bedtime), we got up to leave, and they whined that they didn't get to spend time with the girls and we were just eating and leaving. Um, we've been in your house for four hours??"
I think the key here is making DUH see the need for boundaries. I see it, and I think in a way he does too, but he doesn't want to be in the middle and they're scarier than me I guess. So help me get scary!