A little BG: DHs mom died after years of alcoholism when he was 14. His dad met a woman and moved her and her two teenage kids into his home 3 months later. SM proceeded to throw away all of his moms memorabilia. Dh joined the army to get away as soon as he could. We have been married for 4 years now. FIL and SMIL live 4 hours away in another state. They never talked to us much or visited at all in the first three years (said they would but never showed) we actually visited them once. My DH was hurt by his dad's actions and hated his step mom for so long but now he is insistent on forgiving his dad and tolerating his SM for the sake of his dad. His dad also has several other kids that don't speak to him at all because of is actions in the past (abandoning them, not raising them) my DH was the baby and his dad was around a little more with him.
FF to now: in March my DH left to start a contracting job overseas and they came and stayed with us for 3 nights, the last three nights he was here with us. I was so bitter because our last weekend as a family of three was all about entertaining them, they left they same morning he did. My DH thinks I hate them but they just make me really uncomfortable I can't explain why. They are just very very different from me or anyone else I know. They tried to come again in June when he was home for R&R but I made my husband tell them no. DH got hurt at work this week and is taking some time off. He is flying in tomorrow and DS and I haven't seen him in almost 2 months. DH I guess called FIL and told him he got hurt and was coming home. FIL calls me frantic saying he can't get a hold of DH but to let him know they are trying to get time off work to come and see us. I just said "ill tell him you called" I admit I froze. I have only been around these people twice. They aren't horrible or mean to me. They just rub me wrong. They don't have any money so they can't stay in a hotel. I don't understand why they are all of a sudden so interested but my DH craves the parental attention because he was so neglected as a child. He is the only one out of her kids and his kids that didn't turn out to be a junkie or alcoholic so I don't really want them around a lot trying to play a large role in my kids lives. My son doesn't know who they are but the two times he has seen them they call themselves nana and papa and try to hog him and hug all over him. He seemed confused so I usually just sit in a Room alone with him most of the time. I do wonder if their sudden attention has anything to do with DHs new higher paying job but only time will tell with that. Am I being selfish and crazy? Or am I a little justified in feeling this way? How do I knock down this visit and what about all the future visits? I am 6 months pregnant and due in November and I have a feeling I will be dealing with this all over again and they will want to come and stay with me when the baby is born. I really don't like having strangers sleeping in my house. I can't help it makes me uncomfortable, but it's also DHs house and he will say "it's my dad, I can't hate him forever. I'm trying to be mature about this" Also when we got married he moved to my hometown and has gotten close to my family and sees them frequently. They are nice and normal but he always throws up that it's not fair that he spends so much time with them and his parents can't even come stay.
FF to now: in March my DH left to start a contracting job overseas and they came and stayed with us for 3 nights, the last three nights he was here with us. I was so bitter because our last weekend as a family of three was all about entertaining them, they left they same morning he did. My DH thinks I hate them but they just make me really uncomfortable I can't explain why. They are just very very different from me or anyone else I know. They tried to come again in June when he was home for R&R but I made my husband tell them no. DH got hurt at work this week and is taking some time off. He is flying in tomorrow and DS and I haven't seen him in almost 2 months. DH I guess called FIL and told him he got hurt and was coming home. FIL calls me frantic saying he can't get a hold of DH but to let him know they are trying to get time off work to come and see us. I just said "ill tell him you called" I admit I froze. I have only been around these people twice. They aren't horrible or mean to me. They just rub me wrong. They don't have any money so they can't stay in a hotel. I don't understand why they are all of a sudden so interested but my DH craves the parental attention because he was so neglected as a child. He is the only one out of her kids and his kids that didn't turn out to be a junkie or alcoholic so I don't really want them around a lot trying to play a large role in my kids lives. My son doesn't know who they are but the two times he has seen them they call themselves nana and papa and try to hog him and hug all over him. He seemed confused so I usually just sit in a Room alone with him most of the time. I do wonder if their sudden attention has anything to do with DHs new higher paying job but only time will tell with that. Am I being selfish and crazy? Or am I a little justified in feeling this way? How do I knock down this visit and what about all the future visits? I am 6 months pregnant and due in November and I have a feeling I will be dealing with this all over again and they will want to come and stay with me when the baby is born. I really don't like having strangers sleeping in my house. I can't help it makes me uncomfortable, but it's also DHs house and he will say "it's my dad, I can't hate him forever. I'm trying to be mature about this" Also when we got married he moved to my hometown and has gotten close to my family and sees them frequently. They are nice and normal but he always throws up that it's not fair that he spends so much time with them and his parents can't even come stay.