This will be a long post, I don't even know where to begin this post might be a scrambled mess.
My husband is very very close to his family. He thinks they are perfect, can do no wrong. My husband thought that when he found a wife that she would just perfectly fit into his family and everyone would get along and be best friends. Ha, not so much.
I will just point out my main issues with his mother. She's really the only one I have issues with that make me lose sleep and cause fights with my husband.
1. She disrespects me and my husband let's her. Examples ... My inlaws never tell us when they are sick. And when we meet up with them they will kiss my children. Then we are all sick. Im also a bit of a germaphobe and don't like others kissing my children. So we asked them to not kiss them. But she still did. Then my hubby asked her again, she did it again. And she kept doing it again, right in front of us, several times. My hubby would never call her on it in front of her because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. It took 7 conversations for her to finally listen to this rule. The other thing we've asked her to do is to please sit down while holding my newborn. And we've explained that it's because my toddlers toys are everywhere and we don't want her tripping. Last time I said "please sit down while holding her" And she rudely said "why?" And we told her the above reasons, then we give her the baby, and she immediately stands up and starts walking around, while changing my baby's positions 100 times very flimsily. I look at my husband to say something to her and he just looks at me and whispers "it's okay don't worry". I I just feel like that's not the point. She's disrespecting my wishes, and they are my children.
2. My husband is upset that I won't let his parents watch our children. Firstly they don't listen to any of my wishes and disrespect me. Secondly my MIL is very ignorant. The other week she asked if she couls take my toddler (15 months old) to Tim Hortons and since they didn't have a car seat she could sit on my MILs lap. And she said it would be okay because it's a short drive and we live in a small town. My husband doesn't understand why I don't want them to watch the children.
3. His MIL always tries to trump everything I've accomplished. This one hurts me. Everything I've done, she's done better. When I was pregnant with my first she told me not to bother breastfeeding and to just being formula to the hospital. Breastfeeding was very important to me, and it was hard and I struggled a lot. But I made it to a year and I was so proud of myself. But then she told me that she breastfed both of her kids for a year! Huh, fancy that! Then last month I had my second baby, an unmedicated home birth. It was my dream, I was so proud of myself and of what my body could do. The months before this she told me time and time again that it was a bad idea, that I should just go to the hospital and get the epidural, that I'm stupid and crazy. So then once I had my amazing home birth guess what?! She tells me her epidurals didn't work with her first birth so she knows exactly how I feel cause she's therefore had an all natural birth too. It's like I can't have just 1 victory.
Thanks all I can type for now, I might add more later. If you could give me your advice on dealing with this, or anything that would be appreciated.
My husband is very very close to his family. He thinks they are perfect, can do no wrong. My husband thought that when he found a wife that she would just perfectly fit into his family and everyone would get along and be best friends. Ha, not so much.
I will just point out my main issues with his mother. She's really the only one I have issues with that make me lose sleep and cause fights with my husband.
1. She disrespects me and my husband let's her. Examples ... My inlaws never tell us when they are sick. And when we meet up with them they will kiss my children. Then we are all sick. Im also a bit of a germaphobe and don't like others kissing my children. So we asked them to not kiss them. But she still did. Then my hubby asked her again, she did it again. And she kept doing it again, right in front of us, several times. My hubby would never call her on it in front of her because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. It took 7 conversations for her to finally listen to this rule. The other thing we've asked her to do is to please sit down while holding my newborn. And we've explained that it's because my toddlers toys are everywhere and we don't want her tripping. Last time I said "please sit down while holding her" And she rudely said "why?" And we told her the above reasons, then we give her the baby, and she immediately stands up and starts walking around, while changing my baby's positions 100 times very flimsily. I look at my husband to say something to her and he just looks at me and whispers "it's okay don't worry". I I just feel like that's not the point. She's disrespecting my wishes, and they are my children.
2. My husband is upset that I won't let his parents watch our children. Firstly they don't listen to any of my wishes and disrespect me. Secondly my MIL is very ignorant. The other week she asked if she couls take my toddler (15 months old) to Tim Hortons and since they didn't have a car seat she could sit on my MILs lap. And she said it would be okay because it's a short drive and we live in a small town. My husband doesn't understand why I don't want them to watch the children.
3. His MIL always tries to trump everything I've accomplished. This one hurts me. Everything I've done, she's done better. When I was pregnant with my first she told me not to bother breastfeeding and to just being formula to the hospital. Breastfeeding was very important to me, and it was hard and I struggled a lot. But I made it to a year and I was so proud of myself. But then she told me that she breastfed both of her kids for a year! Huh, fancy that! Then last month I had my second baby, an unmedicated home birth. It was my dream, I was so proud of myself and of what my body could do. The months before this she told me time and time again that it was a bad idea, that I should just go to the hospital and get the epidural, that I'm stupid and crazy. So then once I had my amazing home birth guess what?! She tells me her epidurals didn't work with her first birth so she knows exactly how I feel cause she's therefore had an all natural birth too. It's like I can't have just 1 victory.
Thanks all I can type for now, I might add more later. If you could give me your advice on dealing with this, or anything that would be appreciated.