I've posted here about fil but am not sure how to link bg. I'll try and keep this short. First my mil is my bec. She pulled something truly awful in the past, pre dwil, and I let it get rug swept. I got therapy to learn how to cope with her annoying but harmless comments since the big issue that wasn't addressed was still eating away at me.
Now dh and I have been together for 12 years, married 8. Have twins, almost 2 born three months early. His mom has been great with them. Not your typical baby rabies bsc. She genuinely enjoys them and largely respects our parenting with a few comments here and there that dh or I shut down instantly. I'll answer any questions, this is getting long enough. Dh and I were in a bad accident. He suffered a tbi, has made progress but not fully recovered. He has a new treatment plan that will hopefully bring a lot of relief. Since the accident fil stopped showing any interest in him. Dh feels this is because he is no longer able to work in his prestigious field and fil can't brag about him. I don't know, I listen but try not to interfere. After our sons were born fil showed minimal interest in them. He saw them at our house maybe three times, all at mil insisting. I and dh have told here repeatedly to stop interfering and trying to make fil be a part of our lives, they are divorced for the record. The other big component to this is she views us, especially dh, as a child. She brought up fil again yesterday. Saying how dh never calls him and didn't take a photo of the boys in the shirts he gave them. I got pissed and said I told you not to bring him up to let dh handle him. She kept talking, to dh now. Who is not a duh. He has a brain injury and is coming off his meds to start the new treatment program so he can be foggy lately. I went upstairs, maybe I overreacted? I texted dh to come talk and I was livid. The only way fil will be in our lives is either a he reconciles his relationship with dh or b mil forced him on us, which is not happening. The problem with fil is he is a narcissist and a mysoginictic pig who would bring nothing good to our boys lives. Dh would not listen to me when I said I wanted her to have consequences and that she needed to leave. I got very mad, I'll admit I might have overreacted but I'm done with her getting away with whatever she wants. She was trainable and had been great for the last four/ five months or so. I stormed downstairs grabbed my stuff to leave. She seemed shocked that I was angry and asked if it was because of her. I said absolutely. I lost my temper, I swear when I'm mad. I kissed my boys and made for the door. She asked if I was leaving because of her, I said yes. She said maybe I should leave, I informed her that dh said not to do that. I did yell and swear, not ok to do in front of my kids and I am in therapy and will work on it. She scolded me for swearing in front of my kids, adding fuel to a bad situation. Dh said nothing. I know it sounds like a duh moment but I think with the head injury he was just taken by surprise and didn't know what to do. He apologized to me later, in detail and agreed to write her a text about taking a to. Am I out of line for wanting a break, did I overreact? I'd also like to know what to say in the text, do I just keep it very brief, do I mention her treating us like kids? This will come from dh, we'll work on it together. I'm just using the first person to make this less complicated. Also do I apologize for flipping out? Thanks in advance. Sorry for the length. And not hair flipping, I wanted to get this out now but I will be in and out all day and will elaborate and answer any questions.
Now dh and I have been together for 12 years, married 8. Have twins, almost 2 born three months early. His mom has been great with them. Not your typical baby rabies bsc. She genuinely enjoys them and largely respects our parenting with a few comments here and there that dh or I shut down instantly. I'll answer any questions, this is getting long enough. Dh and I were in a bad accident. He suffered a tbi, has made progress but not fully recovered. He has a new treatment plan that will hopefully bring a lot of relief. Since the accident fil stopped showing any interest in him. Dh feels this is because he is no longer able to work in his prestigious field and fil can't brag about him. I don't know, I listen but try not to interfere. After our sons were born fil showed minimal interest in them. He saw them at our house maybe three times, all at mil insisting. I and dh have told here repeatedly to stop interfering and trying to make fil be a part of our lives, they are divorced for the record. The other big component to this is she views us, especially dh, as a child. She brought up fil again yesterday. Saying how dh never calls him and didn't take a photo of the boys in the shirts he gave them. I got pissed and said I told you not to bring him up to let dh handle him. She kept talking, to dh now. Who is not a duh. He has a brain injury and is coming off his meds to start the new treatment program so he can be foggy lately. I went upstairs, maybe I overreacted? I texted dh to come talk and I was livid. The only way fil will be in our lives is either a he reconciles his relationship with dh or b mil forced him on us, which is not happening. The problem with fil is he is a narcissist and a mysoginictic pig who would bring nothing good to our boys lives. Dh would not listen to me when I said I wanted her to have consequences and that she needed to leave. I got very mad, I'll admit I might have overreacted but I'm done with her getting away with whatever she wants. She was trainable and had been great for the last four/ five months or so. I stormed downstairs grabbed my stuff to leave. She seemed shocked that I was angry and asked if it was because of her. I said absolutely. I lost my temper, I swear when I'm mad. I kissed my boys and made for the door. She asked if I was leaving because of her, I said yes. She said maybe I should leave, I informed her that dh said not to do that. I did yell and swear, not ok to do in front of my kids and I am in therapy and will work on it. She scolded me for swearing in front of my kids, adding fuel to a bad situation. Dh said nothing. I know it sounds like a duh moment but I think with the head injury he was just taken by surprise and didn't know what to do. He apologized to me later, in detail and agreed to write her a text about taking a to. Am I out of line for wanting a break, did I overreact? I'd also like to know what to say in the text, do I just keep it very brief, do I mention her treating us like kids? This will come from dh, we'll work on it together. I'm just using the first person to make this less complicated. Also do I apologize for flipping out? Thanks in advance. Sorry for the length. And not hair flipping, I wanted to get this out now but I will be in and out all day and will elaborate and answer any questions.