I don't even know where to start.
FIL is pretty bad but no where near as bad as MIL. she is malicious, manipulative and so narcissistic . I could tell you so many things but it would take so long so I'll just give you a few examples
Anyways so one day DH asked his mom to order a table for us for our new place . so she does, and she texts me the table is coming Wednesday between 12-6 so I will be there then. I said oh its okay my sister will be here becaus I have a hair appointment and I'll only be gone an hour and then I'll be here. half hour later (I assume she changed the date but I don't know) she says oh actually it's Friday 12-6 so I'll see you then. and I'm like how about we visit you on Sunday instead because we don't know what time the table is coming and if you're worried about them delivering the wrong thing send me a photo I am sure it will be fine.
She then called OH and pulled some "what if she is breastfeeding and can't answer the door, what if the wrong pieces arrive and she doesn't say anything" shit and texted me back and says Oh OH wants me there so I will be there from 12-6 on Friday okay Thanks OH wants me there so I'll be there see you then. Thanks. 🙂
She literally sent me the smiley face like ha ha . My jaw dropped.
ONE example. I've been with OH for four years about now and not even a year into our relationship she had asked OH if she could call me (we were in the middle of an argument and we were both clearly upset, he was with her afterwards) He said no, he went into the bank and she called me anyways and in that conversation told me to "rethink our relationship" I SNAPPED. Thank god OH didn't know about it because at the time I thought he did, he DID yell at her for the first time in our relationship at that point. and since then I quote "started war with her" .
That was a long time ago things have only gotten worse now that we have DS (13 months now).
Lots of coming unannounced and walking in and grabbing the baby from me before she even has her shoes off. I now leave the door locked at all times so she cannot do that and DH shut down them coming unannounced . He doesn't always stick up for me though because his mom is SO manipulative she twists things to make it like she just cares and cries and it tugs at him. He has, but not always , that's the issue.
Anyways lots and lots of overbearing issues all in between but I won't mention them all. They have each (SIL too because it all roots from MILs rants) they have all taken their turn coming here to yell at me and say I "deprive my son from his family and it's really sad and awful" and all this bullshit.
They see him all the time but it's never enough for them. Ever! His family has made my PPD and PPA soooo much worse. It's awful. they're awful. I make my efforts for DS and OH and always will but everyone knows MIL and I hate each other , it's obvious. yet I make plans if I cancel I say how about next Sunday or whatever.
They get so mad that I don't want to do everything under the sun with them that they say I'm depriving them of having a good relationship with their grandson !!!! ugh I could hurt myself from rolling my eyes so hard I swear.
OH grew up with this shit so he does not he now manipulative and controlling they are. He partially does but not really so I have to tread carefully because who wants to argue?!
Anyways I don't leave DS much I have a lot of anxiety about leaving him with anyone . I have tried leaving him with MiL once to go to yoga and I ran home I couldn't even enjoy myself. hasn't happened since. My mom is too ill to watch my son and my sister does when she can but really I don't get a break ever because OH works so much.
The neighbour graciously offered to watch him for an hour so I can take yoga back up again and that BLEWWWWW UP.
OH got very upset that I wanted the neighbour to watch him instead of his grandparents and he thinks I'm just petty. He thinks things like her kissing him when I don't like forced affection and continuously ask her and everyone not to do that is why I don't want her watching him but he doesn't see the bigger picture.
It was a HUGE argument . I have no problem with them coming over to see him and in reality they do see him quite a bit but it's never going to be enough for them specifically MIL. I just feel incredible uncomfortable with leaving DS with MIL without me there. She disrespects me and what I say to my face so why would I be comfortable with that?
DH just wants everyone happy but he doesn't see that he is disregarding my feelings that are very much valid. MIL is so twisted he just sees it as oh she wants to spend time with him she just cares and I want it my way or the highway. When in reality she wants my son for her own!!
I have brought up couples counselling but he won't go. I'm going to start going for my PPD and hopefully I can air these things out took. But how can I set boundaries ?
It feels I'm always picking and choosing my battles , this time I said fine she can watch him if we go to dinner sometimes. (my nerves are more calm when with him and that won't happen often) but anything else (I didn't tell him this) I will work around with my sister.
I wish Oh would cut the umbilical cord with his mother already it's so frustrating and hard to deal with! He doesn't even see her temper tantrums or anything because he is SUCH a mamas boy, anything I do that she doesn't like she calls him crying. His entire side thinks I'm such a bitch probably because of what she preaches.
Hopefully me going to counselling can help me learn ways to cope with the stress they give me and what not but how can I go about setting boundaries ? How can I go about talking to OH that may help him understand? He gets so emotional about his mom but he does have a good head on his shoulders.
This is missing so much but it's the gist.
FIL is pretty bad but no where near as bad as MIL. she is malicious, manipulative and so narcissistic . I could tell you so many things but it would take so long so I'll just give you a few examples
Anyways so one day DH asked his mom to order a table for us for our new place . so she does, and she texts me the table is coming Wednesday between 12-6 so I will be there then. I said oh its okay my sister will be here becaus I have a hair appointment and I'll only be gone an hour and then I'll be here. half hour later (I assume she changed the date but I don't know) she says oh actually it's Friday 12-6 so I'll see you then. and I'm like how about we visit you on Sunday instead because we don't know what time the table is coming and if you're worried about them delivering the wrong thing send me a photo I am sure it will be fine.
She then called OH and pulled some "what if she is breastfeeding and can't answer the door, what if the wrong pieces arrive and she doesn't say anything" shit and texted me back and says Oh OH wants me there so I will be there from 12-6 on Friday okay Thanks OH wants me there so I'll be there see you then. Thanks. 🙂
She literally sent me the smiley face like ha ha . My jaw dropped.
ONE example. I've been with OH for four years about now and not even a year into our relationship she had asked OH if she could call me (we were in the middle of an argument and we were both clearly upset, he was with her afterwards) He said no, he went into the bank and she called me anyways and in that conversation told me to "rethink our relationship" I SNAPPED. Thank god OH didn't know about it because at the time I thought he did, he DID yell at her for the first time in our relationship at that point. and since then I quote "started war with her" .
That was a long time ago things have only gotten worse now that we have DS (13 months now).
Lots of coming unannounced and walking in and grabbing the baby from me before she even has her shoes off. I now leave the door locked at all times so she cannot do that and DH shut down them coming unannounced . He doesn't always stick up for me though because his mom is SO manipulative she twists things to make it like she just cares and cries and it tugs at him. He has, but not always , that's the issue.
Anyways lots and lots of overbearing issues all in between but I won't mention them all. They have each (SIL too because it all roots from MILs rants) they have all taken their turn coming here to yell at me and say I "deprive my son from his family and it's really sad and awful" and all this bullshit.
They see him all the time but it's never enough for them. Ever! His family has made my PPD and PPA soooo much worse. It's awful. they're awful. I make my efforts for DS and OH and always will but everyone knows MIL and I hate each other , it's obvious. yet I make plans if I cancel I say how about next Sunday or whatever.
They get so mad that I don't want to do everything under the sun with them that they say I'm depriving them of having a good relationship with their grandson !!!! ugh I could hurt myself from rolling my eyes so hard I swear.
OH grew up with this shit so he does not he now manipulative and controlling they are. He partially does but not really so I have to tread carefully because who wants to argue?!
Anyways I don't leave DS much I have a lot of anxiety about leaving him with anyone . I have tried leaving him with MiL once to go to yoga and I ran home I couldn't even enjoy myself. hasn't happened since. My mom is too ill to watch my son and my sister does when she can but really I don't get a break ever because OH works so much.
The neighbour graciously offered to watch him for an hour so I can take yoga back up again and that BLEWWWWW UP.
OH got very upset that I wanted the neighbour to watch him instead of his grandparents and he thinks I'm just petty. He thinks things like her kissing him when I don't like forced affection and continuously ask her and everyone not to do that is why I don't want her watching him but he doesn't see the bigger picture.
It was a HUGE argument . I have no problem with them coming over to see him and in reality they do see him quite a bit but it's never going to be enough for them specifically MIL. I just feel incredible uncomfortable with leaving DS with MIL without me there. She disrespects me and what I say to my face so why would I be comfortable with that?
DH just wants everyone happy but he doesn't see that he is disregarding my feelings that are very much valid. MIL is so twisted he just sees it as oh she wants to spend time with him she just cares and I want it my way or the highway. When in reality she wants my son for her own!!
I have brought up couples counselling but he won't go. I'm going to start going for my PPD and hopefully I can air these things out took. But how can I set boundaries ?
It feels I'm always picking and choosing my battles , this time I said fine she can watch him if we go to dinner sometimes. (my nerves are more calm when with him and that won't happen often) but anything else (I didn't tell him this) I will work around with my sister.
I wish Oh would cut the umbilical cord with his mother already it's so frustrating and hard to deal with! He doesn't even see her temper tantrums or anything because he is SUCH a mamas boy, anything I do that she doesn't like she calls him crying. His entire side thinks I'm such a bitch probably because of what she preaches.
Hopefully me going to counselling can help me learn ways to cope with the stress they give me and what not but how can I go about setting boundaries ? How can I go about talking to OH that may help him understand? He gets so emotional about his mom but he does have a good head on his shoulders.
This is missing so much but it's the gist.