So I had posted before about my DF and I on my birth board. We separated in July but started counseling and are working on everything. We are very devoted to each other but because of never ending arguments and stress we decided it would be best to live separately. It was very difficult for DF at first. Initially he was the one who (in the heat of an argument) screamed for me to pack my things and get the &$?! out because I slapped him. So instead of crying my way back into his arms and begging forgiveness of harsh words and bad behavior, I decided it was what needed to happen. The constant arguing and stress had made me very depressed. I have posted before on my birth board about his addiction to pills, he started becoming very irate and angry all the time. EVERYTHING bothered him. Nothing made him happy. He blamed me for his addiction. This separation needed to happen.
Any way, the point of this post actually has to do with my FIL. Since I moved out we have not spoken. When I spend the night with DF, FIL doesn't say hi, we don't hug, he doesn't even look at me. At my babyshower he didn't even act like I existed and my mom even sensed the weird attitude from him and my MIL. I understand that from his perspective I packed up and left, but it's something that I felt necessary to do, even after having to deal with a huge flea problem in their house and being fed up with the way they didn't take care of their animals (which I've posted about before as well). I just did what I felt was best for me and my children. I was tired of them seeing DF and I argue over EVERYTHING. We would curse at each other and in return take our frustrations out on the kids and I was very unhappy about how we had begun parenting due to this stress.
But why is my FIL treating me like this? It's a very hostile, awkward and uncomfortable feeling around him. It makes me not want to spend the night with DF and I haven't told DF about this because I know he'll just tell me to talk to him about it.
I don't know if this is why FIL is upset, but my MIL has expressed that I should never have slapped DF and it's disrespectful to the family and something that I should never ever do if I want to be apart of their family and be respected. She went on and on about their expectations of a woman and how her and FIL have never laid a hand on each other. I couldn't help but think to myself "and what about the expectations for your son???" So this prompts the question- mind you, FIL is unaware of his son's drug addiction- but why is he walking around me like I am the problem and why do I feel like I am the enemy??? It's so irritating. Sometimes I just want to yell at FIL and ask "WHY CANT YOU LOOK AT ME?! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"
Yes, I slapped my DF, because I havea temper and now that we don't live together and I've actually started working on myself, I have realized it's the experiences I have endured and that I don't know how to love him the way I should, but at the time I just wanted him to get out of my face and stop the insults and you know... I thought a slap to the face would make him stop and just shut up, but it definitely only made things worse and he told me to leave so I did. I just hate how my FIL has so much negativity towards me now... And just needed to vent about it.
Any way, the point of this post actually has to do with my FIL. Since I moved out we have not spoken. When I spend the night with DF, FIL doesn't say hi, we don't hug, he doesn't even look at me. At my babyshower he didn't even act like I existed and my mom even sensed the weird attitude from him and my MIL. I understand that from his perspective I packed up and left, but it's something that I felt necessary to do, even after having to deal with a huge flea problem in their house and being fed up with the way they didn't take care of their animals (which I've posted about before as well). I just did what I felt was best for me and my children. I was tired of them seeing DF and I argue over EVERYTHING. We would curse at each other and in return take our frustrations out on the kids and I was very unhappy about how we had begun parenting due to this stress.
But why is my FIL treating me like this? It's a very hostile, awkward and uncomfortable feeling around him. It makes me not want to spend the night with DF and I haven't told DF about this because I know he'll just tell me to talk to him about it.
I don't know if this is why FIL is upset, but my MIL has expressed that I should never have slapped DF and it's disrespectful to the family and something that I should never ever do if I want to be apart of their family and be respected. She went on and on about their expectations of a woman and how her and FIL have never laid a hand on each other. I couldn't help but think to myself "and what about the expectations for your son???" So this prompts the question- mind you, FIL is unaware of his son's drug addiction- but why is he walking around me like I am the problem and why do I feel like I am the enemy??? It's so irritating. Sometimes I just want to yell at FIL and ask "WHY CANT YOU LOOK AT ME?! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"
Yes, I slapped my DF, because I havea temper and now that we don't live together and I've actually started working on myself, I have realized it's the experiences I have endured and that I don't know how to love him the way I should, but at the time I just wanted him to get out of my face and stop the insults and you know... I thought a slap to the face would make him stop and just shut up, but it definitely only made things worse and he told me to leave so I did. I just hate how my FIL has so much negativity towards me now... And just needed to vent about it.
