Hi ladies,
I almost feel bad posting on DWIL because my in-law problem doesn't come close to most on here. At the same time, my MIL drives me bat-shit crazy.
My DH and I are 20 weeks pregnant with our first; this will be their first grandchild.
BG: My MIL is extremely passive aggressive, which is how she emotionally manipulatees you. When being passive aggressive doesn't work, she becomes blatently aggressive, claiming that we're "hurting" her, bursting into tears, hanging up on my DH, and refusing to come to the phone to talk to him until he does what she wants. This leaves my DH and my FIL in complete distress. My FIL will do anything to calm her down and comfort her, and my DH has learned by example. No one ever upsets her, contradicts her, etc. He's doing his best to learn to stand his ground with her, but he's unlearning 30 years of ingrained behaviour, so it's taking time.
I give you all this background because something pissed me off (again) last night, and without context it seems like no big deal.
Anyway, my MIL always talks about how easy pregnancy was for her. Every time we speak, she asks my DH how I'm feeling and, like many people, I wasn't feeling so hot through about week 15-16. When he would tell her I wasn't feeling well, she would say "oh but she'll be over it within the next few days and then she'll feel fine." DH would say "Well we'll just have to wait and see." And she would say "Oh, I'm sure of it."
She said this every.single.week for three+ months! I felt like she was completely dismissing my experiences, and blowing my feelings and experiences off as nothing (complaining at best, lies at worst).
The past month or so I've been feeling better, though I still struggle with periodic nausea. So last night my DH was on the phone with his parents and I heard his mom ask how I was feeling. He said that I had my good days and my bad days, but they were mostly good now. He said that we were taking advantage of the good days, because we were expecting it to get bad again in the third trimester.
His mom said "Umm... I've never heard of that. Most women feel sick for a couple of weeks in the beginning and then it's smooth sailing the rest of the pregnancy! I know I certainly didn't have all these issues. I'm sure she's going to feel just fine the rest of the time. Where did you even hear that?"
And it set my teeth on edge.
My DH said "Well, it's pretty widely accepted that women get nausea and heartburn in the third trimester too mom." She said "I don't know where you're getting that. That never happened to me. I'm sure that won't happen to her. She'll be just fine." (Her tone was really dismissive). My DH said "Well mom, we'll just have to wait and see. Every pregnancy is different."
They went around in circles a couple more times repeating the same thing before moving on to another topic.
I know it's not a big deal compared to what most of you ladies are dealing with, but I'm just so SICK of her completely dismissing my feelings and experiences because hers weren't like that. And if her pregnancies weren't like that, then mine certainly couldn't be.
I mean... it's honestly like she's passive agressively calling me a liar!
She also dismisses anything we say about the pregnancy. For example, she said that I might start feeling movement soon. My DH said that I've actually been feeling movement for a few weeks now, and she said that I might be feeling flutters, but that I'll really be able to feel him when he starts kicking. When DH said that I was feeling pretty substantial kicks now, she said that in her pregnancies she could identify a foot, an elbow, etc. and that I would get there eventually (like it's a race that she's somehow winning!).
My DH also told her that we're spending a few minutes each day with DH's hand on my belly, trying to see if he can feel movement from the outside. When he told her this, she said that the baby was still so small he wouldn't be able to feel it for "another couple of months at least." In another couple of months I'll be 28-30 weeks pregnant. I'm pretty damn sure he'll be able to feel the baby before then.
I honestly don't know that there's anything to be said or done, I'm just having a vent, but I figured I would get a sympathetic ear from you ladies, knowing what you've been through. If you've stuck with my whining this far, I thank you. 
I guess my question is: how do I become zen, and just let her comments roll off my back?