BG: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a63385189/some-worshipful-praise-to-you?cpg=1&scid=Android_MPBT_Referral
That link might not work I'll try to fix it later.
It's getting close to baby time for me, I am high risk for preterm labor, and well, *trigger?* my baby is pretty high risk as well. Long NICU stays. High mortality. Surgeries. Fun times. Fortunately we recently found out we get to stay in our city for all this and not have to pack up and leave town for months. Hallelujah! *end trigger*
My insurance gives us five free counseling sessions, and you better believe we've hit our out of pocket so I can actually afford to keep seeing her because it's pretty much free now. She's great, she's leave and cleave, her own family is CO. She's been helping me talk about MOO boundaries.
Tl;dr MOO is codependent, has her claws in me pretty thick, or at least really desperately wants to. She had been fb messaging me like...everyday, and I always felt I had to reply with 24 hours, like she's some sort of customer at my store or some weird shit like that. I'd call her maybe every couple weeks. I've started slow fading, albeit kind of crappily. Phone calls only twice a month. If she fb messages me I delete without opening. She has told me that my *IN UTERO BABY* feels more real than her other grandchildren ever did, somehow. She has nine grandchildren, who are all great, wonderful, amazing. This is what triggered my actual willingness to get some boundaries set up. However, this has inspired her to try every other form of getting ahold of me. More calling and texting, which she has never done. (I don't answer) I'm waiting on that phone call to DH and MIL about her being worried about my lack of communication.
Okay, so advice. Your cut offs. Your slow fades. I'm always reading about the fall out before the cut off. But this codependency is literally my whole life. It's not healthy. It has to stop. My baby is no one's therapy.
Please help me shine my spine. What is it like on the other side of all of this? How has your life improved? Does she ever get out of your head? Is your life discernibly better? I'll take your advice, I'll take your llamas. If this isn't appropriate to this board, many apologies.
That link might not work I'll try to fix it later.
It's getting close to baby time for me, I am high risk for preterm labor, and well, *trigger?* my baby is pretty high risk as well. Long NICU stays. High mortality. Surgeries. Fun times. Fortunately we recently found out we get to stay in our city for all this and not have to pack up and leave town for months. Hallelujah! *end trigger*
My insurance gives us five free counseling sessions, and you better believe we've hit our out of pocket so I can actually afford to keep seeing her because it's pretty much free now. She's great, she's leave and cleave, her own family is CO. She's been helping me talk about MOO boundaries.
Tl;dr MOO is codependent, has her claws in me pretty thick, or at least really desperately wants to. She had been fb messaging me like...everyday, and I always felt I had to reply with 24 hours, like she's some sort of customer at my store or some weird shit like that. I'd call her maybe every couple weeks. I've started slow fading, albeit kind of crappily. Phone calls only twice a month. If she fb messages me I delete without opening. She has told me that my *IN UTERO BABY* feels more real than her other grandchildren ever did, somehow. She has nine grandchildren, who are all great, wonderful, amazing. This is what triggered my actual willingness to get some boundaries set up. However, this has inspired her to try every other form of getting ahold of me. More calling and texting, which she has never done. (I don't answer) I'm waiting on that phone call to DH and MIL about her being worried about my lack of communication.
Okay, so advice. Your cut offs. Your slow fades. I'm always reading about the fall out before the cut off. But this codependency is literally my whole life. It's not healthy. It has to stop. My baby is no one's therapy.
Please help me shine my spine. What is it like on the other side of all of this? How has your life improved? Does she ever get out of your head? Is your life discernibly better? I'll take your advice, I'll take your llamas. If this isn't appropriate to this board, many apologies.