Where do I begin?
My FOO is pretty much cut off - lots of dysfunction there. My DH & I have always enjoyed a warm & loving relationship w/ his parents. A few years ago, we moved to the same town as his parents - it was a combo of excellent job opportunities & low cost of living. Plus we like seeing his parents.
After 8 years of infertility struggles & 3 years of hoping to adopt, we finally, miraculously fell pregnant. I am having supply issues with nursing my newborn due to thyroid issues. I am working really hard at breastfeeding but our pediatrician recommended supplementing with formula just to get my daughter back up to her birth weight.
At a recent family gathering, my MIL "gifted" me with formula and made several comments that bothered me!
She said she was just worried about the baby (in a tone of voice that implied I was not!) said my milk probably wasn't nutritious enough for the baby because I am a vegetarian, kept repeating that it was "stupid" of me to wake up in the middle of the night to nurse the baby.
I foolishly allowed her to give the baby a bottle once which I now really regret as my MIL has struggled with weight most of her life and ever since then she has begged to give the baby more... even when she is full & spitting up. MIL has always tended to pressure me about "not eating enough" (I eat a normal amount, she is a large woman and can easily put away triple the amount of food I can)
I am really shocked by the constant tension we are having over this. She exclusively breast-fed all of her children & I thought for sure she would support me wholeheartedly. Apparently it turns out, she really regretted it and feels that it cost her career wise a chance for a more executive position.
I am truly floored by all of this. My own mom passed away and she really had been like a second mom to me. Her sudden catty behavior over my infertility & breastfeeding struggle is so hurtful.
My husband of course, says "What's the big deal? We're giving the baby formula anyway! Might as well use the stuff she gave us!"
The best analogy I can think of is that it would be like if I "gifted" her with SlimFast in front of everyone at a big family gathering and fat-shamed her while humble bragging about how lucky I was to lose weight pretty easily myself.
I want a long TO for my MIL. Maybe until the baby is 6 mos to a year old and we'll be working on weaning then anyway. I can't help but feel there's something sinister at play with someone who actively discourages breastfeeding. My hubby insists my issues w/ my own dysfunctional mom are clouding the issue. His solution is to have MIL visit the baby while I'm at work, so she can get grandbaby time & I don't have to see her.
Okay, ladies. Thoughts?
My FOO is pretty much cut off - lots of dysfunction there. My DH & I have always enjoyed a warm & loving relationship w/ his parents. A few years ago, we moved to the same town as his parents - it was a combo of excellent job opportunities & low cost of living. Plus we like seeing his parents.
After 8 years of infertility struggles & 3 years of hoping to adopt, we finally, miraculously fell pregnant. I am having supply issues with nursing my newborn due to thyroid issues. I am working really hard at breastfeeding but our pediatrician recommended supplementing with formula just to get my daughter back up to her birth weight.
At a recent family gathering, my MIL "gifted" me with formula and made several comments that bothered me!
She said she was just worried about the baby (in a tone of voice that implied I was not!) said my milk probably wasn't nutritious enough for the baby because I am a vegetarian, kept repeating that it was "stupid" of me to wake up in the middle of the night to nurse the baby.
I foolishly allowed her to give the baby a bottle once which I now really regret as my MIL has struggled with weight most of her life and ever since then she has begged to give the baby more... even when she is full & spitting up. MIL has always tended to pressure me about "not eating enough" (I eat a normal amount, she is a large woman and can easily put away triple the amount of food I can)
I am really shocked by the constant tension we are having over this. She exclusively breast-fed all of her children & I thought for sure she would support me wholeheartedly. Apparently it turns out, she really regretted it and feels that it cost her career wise a chance for a more executive position.
I am truly floored by all of this. My own mom passed away and she really had been like a second mom to me. Her sudden catty behavior over my infertility & breastfeeding struggle is so hurtful.
My husband of course, says "What's the big deal? We're giving the baby formula anyway! Might as well use the stuff she gave us!"
The best analogy I can think of is that it would be like if I "gifted" her with SlimFast in front of everyone at a big family gathering and fat-shamed her while humble bragging about how lucky I was to lose weight pretty easily myself.
I want a long TO for my MIL. Maybe until the baby is 6 mos to a year old and we'll be working on weaning then anyway. I can't help but feel there's something sinister at play with someone who actively discourages breastfeeding. My hubby insists my issues w/ my own dysfunctional mom are clouding the issue. His solution is to have MIL visit the baby while I'm at work, so she can get grandbaby time & I don't have to see her.
Okay, ladies. Thoughts?