I've been reading DWIL for several months. I have learned ALOT! I have a previous post but, it's not really relevant in this issue (I can like for science if needed).
BG:
I just recently married in Oct. of this year. I have an 8 yr/o DSS and a 10 mo DD. I have decided now that we are married, I want DH and I to set up clear boundries for the holidays. Both mine and DH's FOO have several events which we have hauled our asses to in the past but, no more! It's so exausting abd makes what should be a joyful time a stressful one.
Current issue:
Most of the issues I'm expecting about our holiday plans will be from my MOO's family. They all (GM, MOO, aunts and Bsis) believe they are HBIC. The whole family gets together often for all sorts of occasions and I've already been working on saying "that won't work for us". But, with the holidays there are expectations (unrealistic ones) so I know I'm going to be backed into a corner resisting the urge to JADE. Honestly, we're spending the least amount of time with them because I just plain don't like most of them. For lack of a better word they're bitchy. I would really just prefere to spend time with people whose company I enjoy, not just out of obligation.
We are planning to spend the 17th with my MOO's fam. But, this event usually goes anywhere from 7-9 hrs (literally). DH and I don't really want to spend an entire day at my GMs with these ppl. So, we decided we would not participate in secret santa which is the last thing they do so we would be able to leave early. Well, in my fam, secret santa is VERY intense. They take it very seriously. And now, I've found out, they already assumed we'd take part and drew our names for us. I'm pretty sure everyone would be pissed if we backed out at this point because it would fuck it all up. But, at the same time, why am I just hearing about this now (they did this Oct. 2nd).
Please help me formulate a response to the group txt in the comments. I know you wise DWILers won't stear me wrong!!
BG:
I just recently married in Oct. of this year. I have an 8 yr/o DSS and a 10 mo DD. I have decided now that we are married, I want DH and I to set up clear boundries for the holidays. Both mine and DH's FOO have several events which we have hauled our asses to in the past but, no more! It's so exausting abd makes what should be a joyful time a stressful one.
Current issue:
Most of the issues I'm expecting about our holiday plans will be from my MOO's family. They all (GM, MOO, aunts and Bsis) believe they are HBIC. The whole family gets together often for all sorts of occasions and I've already been working on saying "that won't work for us". But, with the holidays there are expectations (unrealistic ones) so I know I'm going to be backed into a corner resisting the urge to JADE. Honestly, we're spending the least amount of time with them because I just plain don't like most of them. For lack of a better word they're bitchy. I would really just prefere to spend time with people whose company I enjoy, not just out of obligation.
We are planning to spend the 17th with my MOO's fam. But, this event usually goes anywhere from 7-9 hrs (literally). DH and I don't really want to spend an entire day at my GMs with these ppl. So, we decided we would not participate in secret santa which is the last thing they do so we would be able to leave early. Well, in my fam, secret santa is VERY intense. They take it very seriously. And now, I've found out, they already assumed we'd take part and drew our names for us. I'm pretty sure everyone would be pissed if we backed out at this point because it would fuck it all up. But, at the same time, why am I just hearing about this now (they did this Oct. 2nd).
Please help me formulate a response to the group txt in the comments. I know you wise DWILers won't stear me wrong!!