Anon lurker.
Background
I married DH in 2013. He has two kids. He shares custody with his ex wife. They have two boys. He is 40 and I am 28. Last year we suffered a miscarriage when I was 13 wks 4 days.
Currently
I am 4 months pregnant. My pregnancy hasn't been easy as I suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum. Being sick everyday and for weeks on, isn't pleasant. I've been hospitalized twice and on stric bed rest.
Problems
While visiting us one weekend, my MIL came in my room to talk about baby plans. My in laws live 25 minutes away from us. My MIL was asking me about my shower, if we were going to do a nursery, who would be looking after the baby, if I was going back to work or going to be a SAHM, what the doctor says about my complications, and whether I can go to full term. She was talking to me about how she had preeclampsia with her kids and how they were in the NICU for months. She even expanded on asking what plans we had in place if our baby had to come early and be in the NICU. She thinks that if we have a NICU baby, she should be there for support as she knows how heartbreaking it can be. I am 4 months with HG, and she is putting fears in me. EEK!
DH travels a lot as a manager. So when he is away, I am the one home alone. He was away for a few weeks so my MIL stayed at the house to keep my company seeing I am not in full capacity to do anything. Being due in February, MIL asked me if I was ever thinking of a shower. Since I have HG, she thinks it would be a wait and see because some days are not even good for me. She does not want to have a date, and then when it comes, I am severely sick. So she is looking at doing a shower before Thanksgiving. The thing is, I have no family here and it would be selfish to ask them to come here before Thanksgiving, when they may have their own plans to travel on Thanksgiving. So I do not want to make people travel twice and on short notice. She thinks just a small family gathering and few of DH and I friends would be sufficient.
Before DH left for his last trip, we went to the doctors and got the gender known. We are going to be having a baby girl. We told family and close friends the gender. MIL asked if she could go with me to see the u/s. I told her no as it wasn't that important for show.
MIL is on Facebook. She uses her Facebook to share photos of her grandsons, her kids, she and FIL, and other family. Outside of those, she posts about her faith and whenever there are issues, asks for prayer warriors to pray for her and her family. Since my HG, I have not told a single person on my Facebook. All I did was post one thing about my pregnancy which was announcing that we were expecting. You know how there are photos that get shared on Facebook? Someone shared a photo of a baby in the NICU, and MIL shared it to her profile. When she did, she posted a caption saying "Prayer warriors, please say prayers and keep my son in your thoughts as his wife is suffering from HG, and we fear she may get pre-e which would lead to prematurity and a possible NICU stay."
I commented on her post saying "Please do not speak such horrid shit into me or my baby's existence. I appreciate your prayers, but my medical history is not news to be plastered all over Facebook. If you had a conscience, you would respect our privacy."
She replied "Ok I am sorry. You have HG though, so that is true. I did not mean to hurt you with mention about pre-eclampsia. I am truly sorry."
I ended up in the hospital. When there MIL acted like sheriff. People who came to visit, she turned them back or if they came in the room, she hustled them out saying I needed my rest and when I got released, there won't be no visitors at the house. My own mother was wanting to fly from Colorado to New York and she told my mother how it won't be necessary of her to fly out. I found this out when my mother called DH on his cell asking what was going on, and told him what his mother told her. He told my mom to ignore MIL and come visit. When she did, MIL took all initiative to be at our house acting as my nurse. So when she'll leave, i had to tell my mom not to answer the door again in letting her in. Since my mom did not answer, MIL got mad.
I feel like a fool and need advice.