Hey so, my mom often uses money as a manipulation tactic. She'll drop comments about how much she spent and how it put her out so much, and boo hoo she lent this person money and they still haven't paid her back. She dropped a comment months after my baby shower about how she spent like $700 and I just ignored it because I'd already started to recognize and learn about the manipulation and strings attached.
Since kicking DuF out, I'm waiting on social assistance. MOO offered to get us groceries today and kept promising she would help us, "don't worry." Well not half an hour after she bought us groceries, she dropped a comment about "well when my slow work season hits, you can help me." and I was like "if I can... But I doubt I'll have anything." She just kept stressing how much she might need the help and I was like "I'm on social assistance, like wtf do you want? I probably won't have much to give." To which she then brought out the guilt, saying "well between you and DuF, since DS was born I've given you guys like $200 of groceries that I never got back. But whatever we'll figure it out. You can pay me back slowly if you want."
I was gonna snap so I just ended the convo and walked away. She's the only person I have to watch DS on Fridays while I go for my emotional abuse counseling (gee, wonder why I'd need that!), so I want to at least TRY to set the boundary, though I will TO and just take him with me if I have to (NOT IDEAL - the counselor specifically said don't bring him). But I legitimately have no one else and as we cannot afford groceries, I cannot afford care for him.
Can some of you pros help me write a "letter" which will most likely be a text? She'll likely start the emotional guilt by crying and apologizing but at least I can say my piece and then detach or whatever I have to do.
Since kicking DuF out, I'm waiting on social assistance. MOO offered to get us groceries today and kept promising she would help us, "don't worry." Well not half an hour after she bought us groceries, she dropped a comment about "well when my slow work season hits, you can help me." and I was like "if I can... But I doubt I'll have anything." She just kept stressing how much she might need the help and I was like "I'm on social assistance, like wtf do you want? I probably won't have much to give." To which she then brought out the guilt, saying "well between you and DuF, since DS was born I've given you guys like $200 of groceries that I never got back. But whatever we'll figure it out. You can pay me back slowly if you want."
I was gonna snap so I just ended the convo and walked away. She's the only person I have to watch DS on Fridays while I go for my emotional abuse counseling (gee, wonder why I'd need that!), so I want to at least TRY to set the boundary, though I will TO and just take him with me if I have to (NOT IDEAL - the counselor specifically said don't bring him). But I legitimately have no one else and as we cannot afford groceries, I cannot afford care for him.
Can some of you pros help me write a "letter" which will most likely be a text? She'll likely start the emotional guilt by crying and apologizing but at least I can say my piece and then detach or whatever I have to do.