This is going to be long but not so sure it will be full of noms like the other posts... Long time lurker but never posted for myself. I've read the sticky and I know you ladies will give it to me straight. I really need advice.
I have a severe anxiety disorder that keeps me from doing alot of every day things, I've had it for as long as I can remember. I have been on medication a few times and it always made me feel sick. I also have OCD tendencies and Agoraphobia as well. For those who don't know Agoraphobia is when you have anxiety and panic attacks about just leaving the house. The home is usual the "safe place" where we like to stay. If leaving anywhere I need an escape plan for if I have a panic attack and need to get back to my safe place. The agoraphobia developed while pregnant and went into full force after I had my daughter. I feel most comfortable and safe in my home, anything that disrupts that sends me into a panic attack.
Here in Canada your considered common law after a year and it gives you the same rights as married couples and we plan on getting married eventually. It will just be easier to refer to him as my DH or.... DuH in this situaiton I think? I've been with my DH for 5 years, and we've known eachother for much longer. We were best friends for years before dating. We have a almost 3 year old together. He has a huge unicorn for family..... because fammmmmmmily. He thinks everything should be rug swept and reconciled with family. I think his normal meter is way off. He had a verbally and physically abusive, alcohoic father growing up. I still don't like his father at all. Mom is a bit excentric and also heavily drank. I like MIL but can only handle his family in small doses.
MIL left FIL over a year ago. This did not surprise me because I had never seem them together and thought they liked each others company at all. They had both checked out of the marriage years ago, sleeping in seperate beds. They acted like roomates with kids.. who dislike each others company. FIL would be drunk at every get together and always made really rude comments to MIL. MIL seems very happy now that she left him and moved 15 hours away. So we have't seen her for over a year and DH is a mama's boy so I'm sure this was hard on him. I didn't come to family gatherings for a while when she was living here. I would see them a few times a year. This was because of BIL's physco girlfriend.. she disrespected me and is a toxic vile person so I cut her out and stood my ground for years and never went over when she was there.. which she was at every gathering. She's currently an ex girlfriend and taking BIL to court over some crazy bullshit. Finally everyone seens her crazy, she was also the reason MIL moved away.
DH dropped the bomb on me last night that MIL was planning on visiting. She wants to come here for our daughter's 3rd birthday and stay for a week. I'm not sure if he offered her to stay here.. or she asked.. or if she invited herself. He said she was " thinking of staying here with us" We own our home. It's a small place with 3 bedrooms, our spare room is used for storage so we have zero room for MIL to stay with us. My DH said we would figure it out, like have her sleep on an air mattress in our living room. I had a melt down on the inside because of my agoraphobia. Someone in my safe place. DH works 2 jobs so hes gone all day Mon-Fri 8-5 at a concrete plant and 5pm to 8-9pm on Mon,Friday and the weekend. So I would be the one having to entertain MIL. Cooking for her.... parenting in front of her. I'm not okay with this at all. Our house is to small to have her here and this puts alot of pressure on me. This completely disrupts my safe place and my routine. Thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to puke.
How do I get DH to see why this is a terrible idea? and what do I say to MIL if she's upset about not being able to stay here? DH has a huge unicorn for family and he's resented me for cuting out crazy xSIL and not rug sweeping her bullshit to come to family gatherings in the past.
Am I being unresonable?
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Agoraphobic and DH want's MIL stay for a week. UD pg 7
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