Hi everyone,
This is my second time posting and the first time was a few months ago. The stories are somewhat related, but it's definitely not necessary to read my other post (it's very long and honestly exhausting).
To make this a shorter post than the last one, let me make a long story as short as possible.
My sister and I have never had a great relationship. I love her because she is my sister but beyond that, we have little to nothing in common and rarely see each other outside of family functions. However, she always talks about how much she "luuuuurves me" and "looks up to me" and how we are "amazing sisters," etc. (Vom. 
) My mom is an extremely controlling individual whose world revolves around my sister and her current BF. My sister is 5 years younger than me and has always leaned on my mom more than me and (seemingly) enjoys my mom's controlling nature in her life. My mom has a unicorn and buys into all of the BS that my sister lays out there and believes in her mind that we are BFF's (yeah right) and faaaaamily. I have no problem telling my mom to back off when necessary and sticking up for myself when every problem that ever exists between the two of us is repeatedly blamed on me. Despite my mother's tendencies, I do enjoy being around her when it does not involve my sister and she is a wonderful grandparent to my DS, who just adores her. I have a great handle on telling her to back off when she's too controlling. It's second nature to me now and at this point she isn't even offended anymore. She's been great at stepping in when I need her help with DS (picking him up from daycare when I'm stuck at work, watching him for date night, etc.).
My sister and I have gotten along fine for the most part until her current BF entered the picture. He is an extremely self-centered, egotistical, immature person. Unfortunately this has rubbed off on my sister quite a bit. Some of the things that come out of his mouth "You have to support me! You're my woman!" just irk me and he's basically my BEC at this point. There's more to his story other than just being annoying, but this post is already going to be long so I'll leave it at that. I see him mayyyybe once a month at most (usually not even) and I typically want to get away from him after about 10 minutes. This has put a strain on my sister's already fragile "relationship" with me since it's pretty obvious how I feel. I'm never rude to him or anything but I certainly don't go out of my way to have a friendship with him. I don't understand what my sister sees in him other than a six-pack (he's a gym rat... I mean trainer... for a living) and the fact that he is constantly referring to her as his "queen" and saying how lucky he is. Which is nice and all, but really we all know there is more to a person than that. My mom loves him because she loves taking injured baby birds under her wing and he has a fucked up past. Which I do feel bad about and I really try to understand that it's why he is how he is; but in my mind it doesn't excuse his current attitude and actions. Get a fucking therapist and deal with it like an adult.
I had a CTJ with my parents, husband, and the two of them awhile back (had I known about DWIL Nation prior, I NEVER would have done that!) and things deteriorated between us big time during the meeting. However, my sister got all emotional and tearful and apologized for not being there for me or acting much like a sister. She promised to change her ways and swore she would be a good aunt to my LO. She truly seemed so shocked when I called her out on her behavior that I honestly believed that she did not realize what she was doing because her head is just that far up her own ass. Not that it's a GOOD excuse, but I felt like at least it wasn't intentional.
My DS was baptized and my SIL and her hubby are the godparents. This was not long after the CTJ. My mom emailed me saying how "hurt" my sister and her BF were that they were not chosen as the godparents since they love my DS "so much"and "no one was more excited about his birth than they were." I basically told her to shove it as we are closer to SIL and her hubby, they are older and more responsible, and we are the godparents to their first child. Looking back, I should have just said it was none of her business instead of JADE'ing but oh well. And I also said in the email that sister and BF would be the godparents of my next child (BF was not quite my BEC yet even though I wasn't crazy about him, he and my sister were talking marriage, and I stupidly assumed my sister was genuine about changing her ways).
Well now the unicorn is dead and I am about to be 5 months pregnant with LO number 2, DD. My sister still spews the bogus"amazeballs" relationship that we don't really have and everyone in my family buys into it, as per the normal. She never calls or texts to see how I am doing. We never hang out. I had a gender reveal party, she showed up alone. I don't know why BF didn't come and don't really care. She left before we even had the reveal after trying to guilt trip me into doing the reveal early - my hubby was busy BBQ'ing and I was busy setting up the food - so she wouldn't miss it. I hear through the grapevine that she is "so excited" that I am having a girl but I have yet to hear it from her. Just to be clear, I don't try to participate in her life either at this point (I've long ago given up) so it's not like I care about what she tells other people.
However, now I really don't want her or her BF to be the godparents of my child. The more pregnant I get, the more I don't want it to happen. I don't know if it's hormones or just the in-my-face reality that this will actually happen since my DD will be here before we know it. My unicorn is now dead and buried and I was stupid when I believed that my sister would really come around this time. She hasn't done shit to be involved in my life or DS's life beyond playing with him at family dinners once a month. Besides that, they babysat him one time for us. He's 19 months. And since BF is my BEC and he and my sister are not engaged, I DEFINITELY don't want him having any defined role in my child's life.
I KNOW this is going to go over like a fart in church with my family. I KNOW it's going to be a fight. And I KNOW it's my own fault for saying they would be godparents long before DD was even a thought. I really wish I could go back in time and smack myself in the face for that one. There's a good possibility that whatever (small) relationship my sister and I have now will be completely over once I let them know my decision. There's for sure going to be drama with my mama that I really don't feel like dealing with.
Part of me thinks that I'm overreacting. I mean what does a "godparent" really mean these days? No offense to people who are very religious or take it very seriously, but our family is doing it more for the "tradition" than anything else. Should I really make this the HTDO? I mean either way, BF will NOT be a godparent, but I am undecided on my sister. She doesn't deserve it at all, but I also don't feel like dealing with the fall out. What do you think, DWIL-ers? Is it worth it to take a stand on this or should I just suck it up, let her stand up there for the baptism, and let it be? Should I accept the consequences for prematurely saying they would be godparents? Part of me feels like I'm going to deal with a host of shit (which is honestly ridiculous) for not having BF as a godparent, so I might as well go all in and nix them both.
IF we don't make either one a godparent, any advice on how to handle it? Should I sit down with them and tell them? Email them? Tell my mother so she knows what's coming? Or treat it like it's none of her business? Should I explain my reasons or just simply tell them that we decided to go with my BFF and her hubby? Even though my sister and her BF both suck, I feel like they deserve to know why we went with someone else, but I could be wrong. God knows, I was way off with the CTJ, so I could definitely be wrong here too. Either way I'm opening a can of worms, so I feel like this could be the time to just get it all out there. Then again, why make a shitty situation even shittier? Maybe I just won't baptize this child. Just kidding. Thanks for reading and for the advice.
ETA: I copy/pasted this from word into notepad before copy/pasting it here and I still got weird characters. In the process of fixing it...