To start off, I like my MIL. She's a great lady. We've had our moments, but in general things are good.
I'm having a baby in the next month or so and she's coming to help. Yes, she will help. She will cook and clean, feed me, and take the baby when she's screaming non-stop and I'm losing my mind. Really she is pretty great. Here's where my problem comes in though...
She likes to take charge. If she is in my house caring for my kids (3 and 5yo), which she will be, she will have her own rules. Such as, no rules. LOL. Really though. TV and video games all day. All the snacks they want, all day (which, my kids will literally eat junk all day if they get the chance).
I run a pretty tight ship around here. The kids must be dressed and ready in the morning before breakfast (makes getting to school so much easier). They clear their own spots after meals, they wipe up their own messes. One snack between 3-4pm. 2 hours of screentime MAX. No screentime unless the playroom is clean. Bedtime is at 8pm - they throw fits or misbehave? They get toys taken away till the next night, and can earn them back by being good. Some people (like, say, my inlaws) think I'm insanely strict, but it's what works for us, and my kids do MUCH better with very clear expectations like that.
So here is my question. While MIL is here, do I really try to enforce those rules? Or do I just relax and not worry about what is going on? DH thinks I stress way too much about these things, and honestly I probably do. But I feel so weird having her come to my house and taking over. Ideally for me, she would know and respect all of the rules that I have set for my kids. But DH thinks they should just have "Grammy time" and I should relax, ignore it, and just enjoy time with the new baby without the older kids.
Opinions? Would it be a good or bad idea to just let her take over for a bit and stop worrying about all my rules? Am I being a control freak?
I'm having a baby in the next month or so and she's coming to help. Yes, she will help. She will cook and clean, feed me, and take the baby when she's screaming non-stop and I'm losing my mind. Really she is pretty great. Here's where my problem comes in though...
She likes to take charge. If she is in my house caring for my kids (3 and 5yo), which she will be, she will have her own rules. Such as, no rules. LOL. Really though. TV and video games all day. All the snacks they want, all day (which, my kids will literally eat junk all day if they get the chance).
I run a pretty tight ship around here. The kids must be dressed and ready in the morning before breakfast (makes getting to school so much easier). They clear their own spots after meals, they wipe up their own messes. One snack between 3-4pm. 2 hours of screentime MAX. No screentime unless the playroom is clean. Bedtime is at 8pm - they throw fits or misbehave? They get toys taken away till the next night, and can earn them back by being good. Some people (like, say, my inlaws) think I'm insanely strict, but it's what works for us, and my kids do MUCH better with very clear expectations like that.
So here is my question. While MIL is here, do I really try to enforce those rules? Or do I just relax and not worry about what is going on? DH thinks I stress way too much about these things, and honestly I probably do. But I feel so weird having her come to my house and taking over. Ideally for me, she would know and respect all of the rules that I have set for my kids. But DH thinks they should just have "Grammy time" and I should relax, ignore it, and just enjoy time with the new baby without the older kids.
Opinions? Would it be a good or bad idea to just let her take over for a bit and stop worrying about all my rules? Am I being a control freak?
