I have been debating posting about my PIL ever since I discovered DWIL at the beginning of the year. This board has validated a lot of the things I was feeling and definitely helped in shining up my spine. It's not titanium yet, but it's a hell of a lot better than the jello it was before. 
I'm going to try to give enough BG to paint a decent picture, but not too much that you get overwhelmed, so bear with me.
My DH and I have been together for 15 years and married for 10 of them. I freely admit that my MIL is my BEC. We are two very different people; she's pretty conservative and tends to turn her nose up at anything "weird." She's also obsessed with babies. At any family function, if someone shows up with an infant, she is 2 feet away practically bouncing and waiting for when she can hold them. She thinks she's GMOTY and the matriarch of our family. DH, his siblings, and their spouses are all still kids in her mind, despite the fact that the youngest (BIL) is 27 and we all have children of our own. She prides herself on having her perfect family surrounding her. Gag.
In typical DWIL fashion, everything changed when my DS (3) was born. She was very helpful the first few weeks pp, coming over only when we asked, which was only 2-3 times. I do honestly appreciate it, despite the current situation. The boundary stomping didn't really start until 6 months later. MIL is currently raising one of her grandchildren and was the daily childcare for the other 2 for several years. She has quite a bit of authority over them and thinks she can try that with my DS, which we call her out on. Over time I dropped the rope and stopped communicating with her.
That brings us to what put the PIL in a TO: At the beginning of January, I was out of the house taking pictures of my best friend when I received word that my grandmother had suffered a massive stroke the night before. Obviously, I was quite upset by this. So we head back to my house to find my ILs have shown up unannounced. Fan-fucking-tastic. BFF leaves, and I tell my ILs my upsetting news (I know, I know, but this was pre-DWIL). I am sitting at the kitchen table trying to get a hold of my mother so I can find out if my grandmother is still alive and my DH is sitting next to me when my MIL out of the blue attempts to have a fucking CTJ with us about our behavior! Asks what the problem is and how we need to talk about it because, and I quote, "we will NOT be having another year like the past year." All of this while playing with my DS. Frankly, DH and I were shocked, spineless, and tried rugsweeping. Finally, I snapped and almost started an argument before shutting it down and telling her now was not the time. FIL (who I honestly love because my DH is just like him) got the hint and got her to leave, but not before suggesting that we have dinner one night to discuss things. DH and I messed up and didn't do anything about it right away, but then I found you amazing people and after reading so many different stories came to the conclusion that a CTJ is never a good idea and that the PIL needed to be put on a TO.
So the current problem: We haven't heard a peep from the ILs since DH emailed them in March (he was dragging his feet and being a DUH). It's been nice and quiet...until Halloween. Came back from Trick-or-Treating to find a goodie bag on our doorstep and a note in FIL's writing. DH grabbed it before DS could see it. Don't know what the note says and frankly don't care. Then just a few hours ago, DH and I both received this gem of an email:
"DH and Alleziam,
I know you said not to contact you, but we thought we'd try anyway. We've missed so much as a family in the last six months that it's becoming very hard to imagine not being able to discuss things as a normal family would.
With LO's birthday and the holidays approaching, we would like to re-connect as a family.
Are you ready to talk through the issues that have been keeping us apart? Your mother and I would like to have a normal relationship.
Love,
Dad and Mom"
DH is asleep and hasn't seen it, and frankly, I'm worried his unicorn will rear its head because it's his dad. I was entertaining the idea of tentatively stopping the TO around Christmas, but then the damn goodie bag showed up and pissed me off. Obviously I am in no way entertaining the idea of having a CTJ, but I'm not sure what to do next. To be honest, I want to extend the TO because its pretty obvious she hasn't learned a damn thing (she has literally said, "Because I'm Grandma I'm going to do it anyway." to me before).
What the hell do I do now?
Edited for weird puncuation.