I am pregnant with my 2nd child & after I had my first, I was so dissappointed at myself & how things went with DS delivery... So im determined to make this all about what I truly want & not about what others want or what others think.. But there are a couple things that are frustrating me & making me stress over the delivery... This is a vent/needing some type of advice post...
Ill start out by giving you some BG on my DS delivery..
I was 4 days overdue with DS. And I was in labor from a thursday morning till sunday morning... I was soooo miserable! But in my hospital we are allowed 5 people in the room with us, being that I was a FTM, I thought I had to have that many. So I had my Ex(DS Father), his mother, his sister, my mom, & my grandmom in the room with me. After dealing with being in labor & laboring at home since thursday morning, I finally get admitted on Saturday night around 8pm. My Ex felt as though I could have the baby without an epi, 
He said that I would seem weak. Again, being that I was young & STUPID, I tried my best to not have the epi done. So I was absolutely miserable. Everyone that I named above was just sitting there staring at me, I wanted to punch everyone in the face. I honestly hated all of them with everything in me!!!
Well around 12am, my Ex decided he was going to leave, since I wasnt progressing as fast as they wanted me to. He was a DJ & he felt that since he was soooo bored, he would go DJ because he was missing out on money. Ugh, stupid asshole! So he sneaks out! I realize he was no longer in the room & I asked where he was, his sister was acting stupid like she didnt know so I called him & he gave me stupid excuses as to why DJing is more important at this time. He said that he "knew" his son wouldnt make his appearance until he returned.. That his son "knew" if his dad was there or not. 
... It pisses me off so bad when I think back to this... So I hang up on his dumbass & yell out that I needed an epi! His mother said that my Ex wouldnt want me to go through with getting an epi, I told her to not speak of him & if he really wanted me to NOT have an epi, he should have kept his ass here & supported me!
So I get the epi & all is well... I didnt sleep but I was able to rest & get my energy back up. Ex shows back up at 3am, pissed because I got an epi, I told him to suck it up & if he didnt like it, he needs to get the hell out then. I was soooo pissed at everything & everyone. My dad & Ex-SM then shows up at 230am drunk & smelling like smoke, wanted to come back to my room but I said no because I was trying to rest. They got pissed & left! Oh Well!
So 8am rolls around & I wasnt quite at 10cm yet. But my epi had completely worn off & at that time I just wanted DS out & didnt care if I felt everything. They had already broke my water hours ago & the Dr came in & said that its looking like I might have to get a c-section. I get very emotional when he told me this & I finally broke down. But shockingly, my Ex comes to my side & starts talking to me & whispering in my ear that everything will be fine, to concentrate on the contraction & try to work & breathe through the pain... 15 mins later, my Dr comes in & I scream that I need to push, they check me & Im at 10cm! My Ex is by my head, my GM grabs my one leg, a nurse grabs the other leg & my mom is kind of off to the side & my Ex's mom & sister have a full view of my vajayjay. ... The whole time while im pushing my GM is talking very loudly & joking with the Dr, talking about all her pregnancies & just pissing me off! Finally I said, "Grandmom can you shut the hell up!!!!" Then less than 30 mins later, my handsome DS was born, 9lbs even & 20 inches long... Just beautiful! And I felt every little thing & I didnt mind at all!
But this is where I get super pissed once again! They lay him on me, my Ex cuts the cord, i hold him for maybe a minute, all is good. They take him from me, stay in the same room though, but they are checking him making sure hes good, which he was perfect! So you would think they would give him back to me, but no... His GM held him, then his aunt, then my mom, then my grandmom! By this time I am tremblin with rage because all I want to do is look at & hold my beautiful son! Finally I yell at them all saying that they need to give me back my son, NOW!!
So then after I finally get to see & bond with my son for a little bit, we get taken to the mother-infant room where we will be staying for a couple days... Then thats when everyone & their mama was trying to come see my DS. And because I was a FTM, I thought this was how it was suppose to be. Smh, stupid me! I had everyone there & I almost felt so suffocated! But I finally get some alone time around 10pm that night. Oh & my SM told me that my father was so upset that I wouldnt let him in the room when they showed up drunk that he had refused to come back to the hospital to see his first grandbaby. She had to force him to come. So freakin stubborn!
But anyway... That was the drama that I had to deal with during my delivery with DS. This time around, I am having a DD to someone else, who is perfect in my eyes! This is his first & so its also the first grandbaby in his family as well. I am kind of dreading the whole delivery process just because I dont want to hurt his mothers or my mothers or grandmothers feelings.
My DF & I already spoke about it & we want it to be just us. Especially during the pushing part of it. MIL is kind of giving me mixed signals. She will sit there & say, oh Im going to be there, blahblahblah... I tell her that me & DF want a more intimate experience, with just me & him. She said ok but I will be in the waiting room. OK well, whatever... then she has been posting things online about what we are going to do while im in labor. Like she will post a video of a pregnant woman in labor dancing or whatever & she will say things like, "oh this is going to be us, we are going to have so much fun!" Then my mother chimes in agreeing with her & apparently they have their own plan as to what they will do during my labor... ???? um ok.... Dont get me wrong, I absolutely love my MIL, she has been there for us so many times. Also my mom & GM as well... So I am kinda feeling obligated to have them in the room... but its like ugh! I refuse to be uncomfortable or trying to make someone else happy at this moment.
Then I said how I want at least an hour after she is born to bond & breast feed right away. Well MIL did not like that, she said, "Oh no ur not, an hour is just too long to wait for me to see my grandbaby!!" DF is kinda on my side & his mothers side, just because he knows shes so excited, which I get but its like dude, this is our kid, this is our baby!... not anyone elses. Also all my SIL's want to come to the hospital as well, 2 of them are still in high school. So all I can see them doing during my laboring process is complaining about me taking so long, or texting me asking when the baby is going to come. They have no patience what so ever.
Sorry for the long rant but I just kind of want someone to give me ideas on where I can make them feel involved, but actually not be involved. Ya know? I am considering for MIL, mom, & GM to be in the room while I labor, as long as they arent "extra" & dont stress me out with their impatient selves. But once I am at the stage to push, I want them out! But then again, I dont want there to be drama or anyone getting their feelings hurt... ugh... Im kinda stressing!
Kudos to anyone who finished reading this!