I know y'all will notice my fancy new anon account, but I decided to go away from my lurker status and create an account I do not need to worry about being traced back to me. Here we go!
My MIL is my BEC. Over the 15 years my DH and I have been together I have gone through phases in our relationship. At first - the honeymoon phase - she was so much more normal and less crazy compared to my dysfunctional family that I overlooked all of the judgmental obnoxiousness and did whatever it took to be in her good graces. That phase lasted about 10 years (insanely long!) Over the last five, things have been going downhill quickly for me. Her judgeyness, constant know-it-all, I-am-right-obviously-about everything attitude is DRIVING ME CRAZY. I am starting to experience difficulties even being in the same room with her. She came over for a visit (we do not live in the same state) a few weeks ago, and it seemed as though everything I did was wrong. She complained about the food I made and/or purchased (every meal), she has very strong opinions about everything, and I couldn't even cut my daughter's birthday cake correctly. I am really starting to reach a breaking point with her where I fear that one day I will snap. As we roll into the holiday season (by the way, I cannot possibly be the only one who feels like Christmas has come early this year with all of the early holiday postings) I need to come up with a coping strategy for dealing with her. Oh wise DWIL, please help me find healthy ways of dealing with her. My current strategies (raging about it to my husband and coworkers after she has departed) do not seem to be as effective as they once were. I would like to have a good relationship with this woman, but not at the expense of my sanity.
I know I haven't given you many examples to go off of here, but I am trying to remain somewhat anonymous. A few other examples of opinions she decides to express during every visit:
- Breastfeeding is best, it is incredibly easy, women who don't breastfeed are selfish or didn't try hard enough (I EBF so I am not sure why she feels the need to discuss this so often, but I certainly disagree.)
- Girls are annoying. As in, all teenage girls are obnoxious. And she says this to my teenage daughter and my pre-teenage son.
There are a million BEC things that drive me crazy and it is very much a death by a thousand paper cuts situation. Sometimes I wish I was doing all of these things on purpose because I would probably find her responses amusing rather than annoying, but I don't want to create any more tension between us than is already there. What do I do?!
My MIL is my BEC. Over the 15 years my DH and I have been together I have gone through phases in our relationship. At first - the honeymoon phase - she was so much more normal and less crazy compared to my dysfunctional family that I overlooked all of the judgmental obnoxiousness and did whatever it took to be in her good graces. That phase lasted about 10 years (insanely long!) Over the last five, things have been going downhill quickly for me. Her judgeyness, constant know-it-all, I-am-right-obviously-about everything attitude is DRIVING ME CRAZY. I am starting to experience difficulties even being in the same room with her. She came over for a visit (we do not live in the same state) a few weeks ago, and it seemed as though everything I did was wrong. She complained about the food I made and/or purchased (every meal), she has very strong opinions about everything, and I couldn't even cut my daughter's birthday cake correctly. I am really starting to reach a breaking point with her where I fear that one day I will snap. As we roll into the holiday season (by the way, I cannot possibly be the only one who feels like Christmas has come early this year with all of the early holiday postings) I need to come up with a coping strategy for dealing with her. Oh wise DWIL, please help me find healthy ways of dealing with her. My current strategies (raging about it to my husband and coworkers after she has departed) do not seem to be as effective as they once were. I would like to have a good relationship with this woman, but not at the expense of my sanity.
I know I haven't given you many examples to go off of here, but I am trying to remain somewhat anonymous. A few other examples of opinions she decides to express during every visit:
- Breastfeeding is best, it is incredibly easy, women who don't breastfeed are selfish or didn't try hard enough (I EBF so I am not sure why she feels the need to discuss this so often, but I certainly disagree.)
- Girls are annoying. As in, all teenage girls are obnoxious. And she says this to my teenage daughter and my pre-teenage son.
There are a million BEC things that drive me crazy and it is very much a death by a thousand paper cuts situation. Sometimes I wish I was doing all of these things on purpose because I would probably find her responses amusing rather than annoying, but I don't want to create any more tension between us than is already there. What do I do?!