I'm going to be completely transparent in sharing this, but I feel the need to. DH has a horrible history with his mother. And since we've been together, MIL has transferred her verbal abuse to me. There have been countless instances where she has spoken down to me and acted disrespectfully. We've even had to CO MIL for a year until she apologized for her behavior. Even now, she's still very unpredictable and my contact is very limited with her, although I've made a few compromises for the sake of DH and his unhealthy attachment to his verbally abusive mom. I know deep down though that DH wants a normal relationship with her, but she is too far gone and negative.
On the flip side, my mom is caring, positive, respectful. She is the only one we can rely on and trust to watch our two children. DH has even told me we are blessed to have my mom in our lives.
The thing is, and this is what I'm embarrassed to admit, is that I sometimes feel that when my mom is around our girls, DH deep down wishes his mom could have the same type of relationship. And I feel awkward about this because I can sense resentment at times. Anytime I want my mom to visit (whether it be for a weekend or holiday), I also feel reluctant approaching DH about it because his mom hardly sees the girls. She's not emotionally stable. But at times he feels if my mom is able to visit, so should his mom (though he's fully aware that she's toxic to be around). And then it turns into this whole, "if your mom can, so should my mom." I'm so tired of it, and it is draining. It takes me days to approach him about my mom visiting because I think of all the outcomes of a possible argument.
I know it's not normal. It's just draining.
On the flip side, my mom is caring, positive, respectful. She is the only one we can rely on and trust to watch our two children. DH has even told me we are blessed to have my mom in our lives.
The thing is, and this is what I'm embarrassed to admit, is that I sometimes feel that when my mom is around our girls, DH deep down wishes his mom could have the same type of relationship. And I feel awkward about this because I can sense resentment at times. Anytime I want my mom to visit (whether it be for a weekend or holiday), I also feel reluctant approaching DH about it because his mom hardly sees the girls. She's not emotionally stable. But at times he feels if my mom is able to visit, so should his mom (though he's fully aware that she's toxic to be around). And then it turns into this whole, "if your mom can, so should my mom." I'm so tired of it, and it is draining. It takes me days to approach him about my mom visiting because I think of all the outcomes of a possible argument.
I know it's not normal. It's just draining.
