I've been lurking for about a year, posted once (not related to this post).
Here we go: I've been married for 17 years, we have 5 daughters. MIL is my BEC. For the entirety of our marriage MIL has caused problems. I could go into it, but it's pretty standard stuff. She sees herself as the mom and doesn't acknowledge her children as adults. I should always put her first, honor her family traditions, ect. I have allowed a lot of it because I thought maybe I was the problem. I'd try to do things her way, but as soon as I went against what she wanted she turned on me.
So we went to her house on Saturday for thanksgiving. I casually mentioned we'd be out of town on December 19. She hit the roof. She wanted us there because her grandson was going to be there. We had already made plans with my parents, we were going to an aunt's house. She carried on so much (yelling, crying, slamming doors) that I gave in and told her we'd come to her house and cancelled with my family. MIL was happy after that.
Now my parents are pissed. They have never tried to change our plans, feel MIL tends to get her way over them, mad that we gave in. Dad even added that it's his birthday, he was looking forward to spending it with us . I tell dh all of this and he is fed up. Feels MIL shouldn't have been given into but doesn't know what to do now
So there is the question, what do we do? This isn't the first time MIL has threw a fit to get what she wants. But now my parents are putting pressure on us as well. They've never said anything before, but should I shut them now? Willing to answer questions and give examples. Do have a large family so there may be long stretches between answers.
Here we go: I've been married for 17 years, we have 5 daughters. MIL is my BEC. For the entirety of our marriage MIL has caused problems. I could go into it, but it's pretty standard stuff. She sees herself as the mom and doesn't acknowledge her children as adults. I should always put her first, honor her family traditions, ect. I have allowed a lot of it because I thought maybe I was the problem. I'd try to do things her way, but as soon as I went against what she wanted she turned on me.
So we went to her house on Saturday for thanksgiving. I casually mentioned we'd be out of town on December 19. She hit the roof. She wanted us there because her grandson was going to be there. We had already made plans with my parents, we were going to an aunt's house. She carried on so much (yelling, crying, slamming doors) that I gave in and told her we'd come to her house and cancelled with my family. MIL was happy after that.
Now my parents are pissed. They have never tried to change our plans, feel MIL tends to get her way over them, mad that we gave in. Dad even added that it's his birthday, he was looking forward to spending it with us . I tell dh all of this and he is fed up. Feels MIL shouldn't have been given into but doesn't know what to do now
So there is the question, what do we do? This isn't the first time MIL has threw a fit to get what she wants. But now my parents are putting pressure on us as well. They've never said anything before, but should I shut them now? Willing to answer questions and give examples. Do have a large family so there may be long stretches between answers.