Hi all this is my first time posting. I am a new first time mom with a newborn. My DH and I were CO from his parents for the entire pregnancy due to unprovoked physical assault by one of his parents on him very early in our pregnancy. Right before I delivered, DH decided to let them back into our lives, mainly at the constant asking of his family. I wasn't thrilled but he said that we would go slow and they would not get any alone time with our child.
FF to now, I feel like his parents have been trying to move too fast, but I have been trying to set limits. The biggest problem I am having now is DH older sibling. She actually confronted me and told me that I need to let the grandparents be more involved in my child's life. She is aware of the issues that lead to the CO, but has been a major rug sweeper (ie. what about all the good holidays we used to have). She would not back down and was telling me how depressed DH mom is and how being around baby more would help, and how it is not fair for me to limit my child's relationship with certain people. She even questioned my parenting skills and used that as an excuse to argue MIL should be allowed to help. FWIW this is the first grandchild, so SIL has no children, and I have also worked with kids in the past and am very comfortable taking care of them.
When my DH heard about the conversation he was not happy and could tell it was upsetting for me. He had asked me if I wanted him to talk to SIL and initially I said no. Then today DH was asking me about an event next week and if we can ask SIL to babysit. I said absolutely not given her lack of respect for me and my boundaries. DH agrees she crossed a line, but thinks I am being stubborn and that I should still let her watch my child
Am I being unreasonable? Also DH is considering addressing the way she treated me but doesn't know if it is to little to late
FYI there were other boundary issues with SIL before baby but this was the most flagrant
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New baby, IL boundary issues Update page 21, 29, FM 32
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