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IkeaGate - Touching Base

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Hello all, hoping you all had a wonderful, stress-free  holiday season. Things have been pretty quiet (for the most part) on my end. Post-new baby life has been wonderful, we are all loving it, and DD is loving being a big sis.


So nothing new with MIL BUT, contrary to the advice I got on DWIL, we did decide to keep FIL in the picture. It was more me than DH just because I have a soft spot for FIL and I feel like he has really had our back in the past and DD loves him. I also somehow feel sorry for him and I think he means well. Well, DH went along with me, and even said it was nice to be in touch with him since generally he has been good to us. DH gave him the okay to resume his usual every once in a while visits and coming to meet the new arrival.


He visited once since the court hearing, and then again today.When he came he spent time with us at home and then took DD out for ice cream (not unusual), then later took us all out for dinner and left. Now I am getting DD ready for bed and she asks when is she going to see grandma. And I said huh, (she calls my mom a different pet name so I knew she didn't mean her). From what I gather FIL showed her a picture of her "grandma" and said she (DD) looks a lot like her. Nothing else was said apparently but I'm just blindsided. We have never said anything to DD so now we will have to try and explain it to her, and what do we do with FIL?


I haven't even told DH yet, I don't even know how to feel about this situation, and I don't know what FIL was even trying to do here. What is the best thing here. I know FIL will have to be called out on this - what should be the rule? No mention of MIL ever? And what to we tell DD?


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