Copied over from my Birth Club.
A little backstory. IL's live 45 minutes away. We let them know about big things going on, DSD's games, ODD's dance recital, etc. But they are always welcome. We started off with a really rocky relationship but its gotten better. Our entire family (me, DH, 3 kids) got baptized today. They were invited, as were my dad and stepmom. My mom and stepdad attend the same church as us. IL's were the only ones that didn't come. LO also started walking this evening. I tagged all the grandparents in the video I posted online.
Tonight, MIL messaged him on Facebook.
"Not happy with you....is this all I get is pictures and videos of your family? I would like to see them, your wife and you in person more than I do! Think about how anytimes I seen you all last year? I bet less them times and them think about now many times you got to see your grandmother. Yes I know we did live next store but, you spent a lot of time with her with or without me. I do wish and pray I could see them more." followed by "I do not hate your wife"
So its like why are messaging? Why not call? She was too mad to call. DH explained that things are tight right now and we don't have the extra money to just run up there whenever. This check was really short because the water bill last month got misplaced and oops you have a shut off. It happens. We don't have the widest variety of food in our house (lots of chicken) and we don't even have the money this week to get much else.
Their conversation went on for about 15 minutes.
They show up for birthday parties, but they haven't shown up for anything else that we feel is important. In the 3 years that DSD has played softball, they've made it to maybe 3 games. Even though they play 2 tournaments 15 minutes from them. They didn't go to ODD's first recital and they didn't come to our baptism today. Everytime, its an excuse about not being "invited" or they "didn't know."
DH said that things were getting better and we'd try to make it up more. So then we get this:
"Like I said Don't worry about me! Go on with your lives. Feed your kids and do what you got to do over there. Some day you well look back on this and worry why you and your family did not spend time with us....Whether you have back bills to pay or not. That has been the excuse for about 3 and a half years now. I would think must of them would be paid off by now. Well goodnight and sweet dream but, don't dream about me."
So now she's guilting us because we're choosing to feed our kids over visiting people who have shown little interest in reciprocating. And yes, the last 3.5 years have been rough. The first 2 years we were in a trailor that cost twice as much to rest as the house we're paying on now. We had to take a loan out of his 401K to get the money for down payment and legal fees on our house that we're paying back. Not to mention the $1K a year in property and school taxes and the $365 a month car payment on top of other bills. We have no cable, cheap internet, and prepaid cell phones. I don't have mine on half the time. We aren't lucky enough to fall into $500 beater cars that last forever and live in a trailor that was given to us on a $200 a month lot.
I can't stand this women at times like this. She's so manipulative and she's constantly trying to turn DSD against us. But she leaves out the fact that ODD has stayed overnight at their house more than anyone else's house and their house is the only place LO has stayed overnight. They're great at visiting other family that they have to drive through our town to get to, then when we ask why they didn't stop, they figured we weren't home. MIL thinks we spend all the time in the world with my mother because she lives around the corner, but a week could go by and I might only see my mom at choir practice and church service.
They are great with the girls and we have no problems with them most of the time. And I say them, but I honestly don't know how much FIL is involved in all this. I just had to vent. I can't talk about this with DH because he's dealing with this more than I am and he gets really worked up because he works so hard for our family and he feels like he's not going to make anyone happy. I talk to my friends and its the "MIL Destruction Channel" but that's not exactly helpful either. Just arghhh....
