I've posted here before, but about different issues. I'm still angry so please forgive any typos. My DF passed away unexpectedly on Oct 04. There was a huge amount of drama surrounding his funeral. He played the scapegoat role in his family, so guilt caused that bunch to go a little off the deep end. In the end, his mother took his ashes, his organ donation medal, everything I got together for the memorial table at the funeral and all of the pictures I helped put together. I had gotten a second guestbook (for lack of a better term) because my DF's father chose one with praying hands. My DF was NOT religious. After the funeral, I took the guestbook I had put together and left the other one. I also had to physically remove a stuffed bear that was sent to my DS from someone's hand because they were going to take it.
I was a wreck after he passed away. I am now in therapy and attend a grief meeting at church. There was more drama with my DF's mother, so I put her on LC. I started feeling better. There was so much less stress in my life and it was refreshing. It still bothers me that I couldn't bring his ashes home, but his sister let me have some to get a necklace made so I sucked it up and said nothing.
On to today's issue, thank you for continuing to read. I was out shopping with my DS earlier and I get a text from my DF's mother asking about the guestbook. I told her I only had the one that I put together, not the one from the funeral home. Sure, not a big deal. It's put up so I tell her when I get a chance, I get it out and she can look at it. We go back and forth with this four times. Finally I say Once again, yes. When I get it out I'll let you know. I have it put up because it's not exactly a day I want to relive. She then proceeds to tell me that I should have asked her if she wanted it because she would like to have it. This is the point that I got pissed. Pissed enough to cry in the middle of the checkout line.
I let her have it. I told her everything that had been pissing me off since the funeral. Her reply was don't get defensive, can you make me copies of the pages. The answer was no and I decided to be the BH until I calmed down a bit. Once I got my thoughts together I sent this:
I was doing really well, mentally and emotionally. This has set me back. Obviously we are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I need a break to reassess everything. I had hoped my wishes would be respected willingly, but that is apparently not going to happen. I will contact you when I'm ready.
So then she plays the you weren't married so everything that was his is legally mine, I'm being a nice person by letting you have anything card, So all in all I'm done. I told her not to contact me and if I ever felt ready I would contact her. My DF and I were together for 5 years. We weren't legally married, but if anyone asked him, he would tell them I was his wife. That's what he considered me. I just need a overreaction check. Am I crazy or is this ridiculous to anyone else?