My mom abused me for my entire life. I escaped her almost a year ago. Since then, I've been recovering best I can. Plus, now I'm engaged and roughly three months pregnant with my first child.
Problem is, she wants to drive up here with all of my siblings after my baby's born for a week or two to spend time with us.
My fiancé is obviously not supportive of the idea. We were together when my mother was abusing me and he knows my situation better than anyone. We both know how mentally unstable she is.
I'm scared to let her around my baby when the time comes because I have, years ago, witnessed her being too rough with a child she was babysitting but in no way related to.
Should I retract my yes and tell her I'm not ready to see her yet? Am I being a complete dunce here even wondering if I should forbid her access to her grandchild? (Tell me if I am. I need a nice harsh dose of realism right now.) I struggle with PTSD because of her abuse of me and I don't want to be having panic attacks after my baby's born. I want to focus on my baby and my spouse, not her and the complicated feelings she stirs up in me.
Problem is, she wants to drive up here with all of my siblings after my baby's born for a week or two to spend time with us.
My fiancé is obviously not supportive of the idea. We were together when my mother was abusing me and he knows my situation better than anyone. We both know how mentally unstable she is.
I'm scared to let her around my baby when the time comes because I have, years ago, witnessed her being too rough with a child she was babysitting but in no way related to.
Should I retract my yes and tell her I'm not ready to see her yet? Am I being a complete dunce here even wondering if I should forbid her access to her grandchild? (Tell me if I am. I need a nice harsh dose of realism right now.) I struggle with PTSD because of her abuse of me and I don't want to be having panic attacks after my baby's born. I want to focus on my baby and my spouse, not her and the complicated feelings she stirs up in me.