There was a very emotional event that affected DH and his FOO today (and myself to an extent). I don't get along particularly well with MIL or SIL (we are polite and nice to each other, and I get along with MIL just slightly better than SIL), but I invited them over so that they could show their support and be there for DH as I knew it would mean a lot to him. Around 6:30pm (invited time) only MIL was able to make it as SIL was at work across town. I wanted to be extra supportive to DH, so I was more generous during MIL's visit than I usually am. I offered drinks and snacks, refilled beverages, and offered to arrange for dinner (either order or cook, which I enjoy anyway). MIL did politely decline dinner, but I decided to cook anyway since it was clear that none of us had eaten dinner- and DH and I were getting hungry. So MIL agreed to stay for dinner. I cooked and put LO to bed and it was time for dinner. It is now after 8pm. When I returned from putting LO to bed, DH and MIL were arguing. While I was in the other room MIL invited SIL to join us at our house without asking me or DH if it was still okay at that time (an hour and a half after invited time). I only cooked enough food for 3, and I expected the visit to be over by the time SIL would arrive. DH looked stressed and told me that he yelled at his mom for not asking first. MIL said don't worry, SIL can have her meal. DH said he already addressed the inappropriateness of inviting without asking, so I just told her no, that I cooked for the three of us so we could eat before she arrived. MIL reluctantly agreed and I served the meal. DH and I ate so quickly that we didn't realize MIL was only picking at her food. When SIL arrived, MIL pushed her full plate in front of SIL. I watched in disbelief. I was so angry! I would have liked to eat more and SIL was not expecting a meal. I felt like after all my openness and giving that day, she "tricked" me (and lied to me) and basically took food out of my mouth to feed SIL. She could have taken less food and offered more to DH AND/or myself or declined the meal firmly. It was a slap in the face, I felt walked over after trying so hard to cheer up DH and make it a nice evening. I excused myself and said I needed to make myself some more food in the kitchen then after a few minutes I excused myself for the evening and left the room. DH asked them both to leave after I left.
This all obviously made me not want to give of myself to MIL in the future, even during special situations, but also made me not want to see MIL for awhile. I have two questions. 1. Should I try to discuss this with MIL and let her know her actions were unacceptable? Or just avoid her and be closed off to her next time without discussing it? Any other feedback? How would you react?
2. Am I overreacting? Was it normal for her to save her food for SIL?
This all obviously made me not want to give of myself to MIL in the future, even during special situations, but also made me not want to see MIL for awhile. I have two questions. 1. Should I try to discuss this with MIL and let her know her actions were unacceptable? Or just avoid her and be closed off to her next time without discussing it? Any other feedback? How would you react?
2. Am I overreacting? Was it normal for her to save her food for SIL?