-Some BG-
I haven't been with SO for too long and we are expecting our first child so my relationship with his mom isn't a very close one yet. All i know from him is that she has (still does) guilt trip him and does odd/slightly category mindfuck (i am the victim, all lights on me...) things. With that being said i have stayed out of it completely when he rants about her because to me it just seemed like mother-son quarrels that don't concern me and it wasn't any of my business.
I've recently seen some facettes of her that have made me see what he means by guilt tripping towards him etc so i am seeing the not so sweet and rather annoying side of her and it makes me wonder how bad she really is.
I have never been involved until recently. My SO has a dog he has had for 5 years. His companion before i was even in the picture. I respect that. Me not being the biggest dog person (i grew up with cats the only dog we ever had in the family was an asshole that bit me when i was a kid and we hated each other passionately) that said i treat the dog like i treat my cat and have gotten over the annoying things dogs do that cats don't. He gets loved, fed and treated like a family member and you really can't tell I'm not a dog person.
-My problem starts here-
FMIL has started making me out to be crummy (at this point more like i exile him) towards the dog _for no reason_ and it's starting to get on my nerves. It started by her making snooty comments about me not being happy about dog hair all over my car -he sheds so bad and SO didn't put a sheet down or anything. I wasn't bitching, I just said i don't like it, to me its gross. So when SO went to vacuum it i got random side comments from her like i should be grateful he wants to please me like that and make me happy by vacuuming the car (like i didn't tell him thanks a hundred times but then again his dog shed on my car come on was i supposed to go out and vacuum it in the heat being high risk pregnant?) and making it sound like i was being a bitch about the hair in my car simply because i said i don't like it being there all the time. It irked me and made me think -ok where did that come from but i let it go.
The other day (few weeks back) i asked to borrow her vacuum because the dog had cat litter and strewn all over the shaggy carpet _again_ (he has an unfortunate hobby of eating and barfing cat shit on the only carpet in the house) and I obviously wanted to clean it because !gross! And she responded with sure you can borrow the vacuum and then bam again out of nowhere the side comment: Well you don't like the dog anyway... (am i the only one bothered by the dog doing that? It's freaking gross and we have in the meantime gotten rid of the carpet altogether).
I just politely corrected her that i do like him i just wasn't happy with him doing that at all (but again i was irked by her comment because it's not true and I'm afraid she will cause SO to believe that bs if she repeatedly says it and cause us to argue).
Anyway i thought after i corrected her that topic was done with. Well that was a few weeks ago and 2 days ago her mother (GMIL) came over to our house and the dog happened to be outside in the yard because i put him out to pee and do his dog business. Well SO's grandma matter of factly says to me "well you don't like him that much anyway" (after asking where he was) and i was just thinking what the fuck is this bs now she is starting too?
Obviously FMIL must have said something to her mother because none of these people not even FMIL are around remotely enough to know if i do or don't like the dog. That already makes me wonder how FMIL depicts me towards others and how much her made up thing about me disliking the dog must be bothering her to bring it up to her mother... Once again i let that go though. Especially because i won't try to argue with an 80+ year old (GMIL) over something like that. I thought whatever. She (FMIL) overstepped but whatever.
Now today. I post a video of my cat fetching the dog toy and returning it on fb because cute furry things whatever it was a 40 sec video of a cat doing something cats usually don't do and the dog wasn't in the 40 sec video. Anything could have been the reason but here comes MIL...
"oh cute. Well the dog must be locked outside or he would be in on that game."
Wtf? Can the dog go out to shit without her making a deal of it? He doesn't get "locked out" he gets put out to do his business. And what was the point of that comment when the video is about the cat? Its like she looks for reasons to being up the dog in a negative way. And it's always out of context.
Why must we make the dog a topic.all.the.time in such a negative way towards me.
I don't get her obsession with it. She knows that dog means everything to my SO and it would be a real problem in our relationship if I truly hated him as much as she makes it out. I'm just fed up with her comments and I'm afraid she's gonna do things like that when the baby is here too and try to cause spitefulness between us. Just stupid uncalled for snarky crap nobody needs to potentially instigate.
Is she trying to test out how far she can go pushing my buttons or am i overreacting?
I haven't said anything to her about the matter since explaining to her she was wrong when she first said that to me weeks ago but apparantly that doesn't stop her from continuing on her trip of calling me out i guess or whatever you name that behavior.
I told SO about it and he doesn't seem to care much about her opinion (at least thats what he says) but it just makes me wonder what her underlying problem really is.
Should i nip her making things up that could later cause drama in the butt or should i just let her go on talking her made up crap and making me look like a mean ass towards the dog? Or should i brace for what is yet to come when the baby is here? SO already told me she will get into our business 😮😥 i think i may just be getting an early taste with this...
I know this is minor vs other problems but i just wanted some opinions because i am at a loss with this and if i can steer around a shit iceberg i have coming i would love to do it. TIA and sry this turned out so long
I haven't been with SO for too long and we are expecting our first child so my relationship with his mom isn't a very close one yet. All i know from him is that she has (still does) guilt trip him and does odd/slightly category mindfuck (i am the victim, all lights on me...) things. With that being said i have stayed out of it completely when he rants about her because to me it just seemed like mother-son quarrels that don't concern me and it wasn't any of my business.
I've recently seen some facettes of her that have made me see what he means by guilt tripping towards him etc so i am seeing the not so sweet and rather annoying side of her and it makes me wonder how bad she really is.
I have never been involved until recently. My SO has a dog he has had for 5 years. His companion before i was even in the picture. I respect that. Me not being the biggest dog person (i grew up with cats the only dog we ever had in the family was an asshole that bit me when i was a kid and we hated each other passionately) that said i treat the dog like i treat my cat and have gotten over the annoying things dogs do that cats don't. He gets loved, fed and treated like a family member and you really can't tell I'm not a dog person.
-My problem starts here-
FMIL has started making me out to be crummy (at this point more like i exile him) towards the dog _for no reason_ and it's starting to get on my nerves. It started by her making snooty comments about me not being happy about dog hair all over my car -he sheds so bad and SO didn't put a sheet down or anything. I wasn't bitching, I just said i don't like it, to me its gross. So when SO went to vacuum it i got random side comments from her like i should be grateful he wants to please me like that and make me happy by vacuuming the car (like i didn't tell him thanks a hundred times but then again his dog shed on my car come on was i supposed to go out and vacuum it in the heat being high risk pregnant?) and making it sound like i was being a bitch about the hair in my car simply because i said i don't like it being there all the time. It irked me and made me think -ok where did that come from but i let it go.
The other day (few weeks back) i asked to borrow her vacuum because the dog had cat litter and strewn all over the shaggy carpet _again_ (he has an unfortunate hobby of eating and barfing cat shit on the only carpet in the house) and I obviously wanted to clean it because !gross! And she responded with sure you can borrow the vacuum and then bam again out of nowhere the side comment: Well you don't like the dog anyway... (am i the only one bothered by the dog doing that? It's freaking gross and we have in the meantime gotten rid of the carpet altogether).
I just politely corrected her that i do like him i just wasn't happy with him doing that at all (but again i was irked by her comment because it's not true and I'm afraid she will cause SO to believe that bs if she repeatedly says it and cause us to argue).
Anyway i thought after i corrected her that topic was done with. Well that was a few weeks ago and 2 days ago her mother (GMIL) came over to our house and the dog happened to be outside in the yard because i put him out to pee and do his dog business. Well SO's grandma matter of factly says to me "well you don't like him that much anyway" (after asking where he was) and i was just thinking what the fuck is this bs now she is starting too?
Obviously FMIL must have said something to her mother because none of these people not even FMIL are around remotely enough to know if i do or don't like the dog. That already makes me wonder how FMIL depicts me towards others and how much her made up thing about me disliking the dog must be bothering her to bring it up to her mother... Once again i let that go though. Especially because i won't try to argue with an 80+ year old (GMIL) over something like that. I thought whatever. She (FMIL) overstepped but whatever.
Now today. I post a video of my cat fetching the dog toy and returning it on fb because cute furry things whatever it was a 40 sec video of a cat doing something cats usually don't do and the dog wasn't in the 40 sec video. Anything could have been the reason but here comes MIL...
"oh cute. Well the dog must be locked outside or he would be in on that game."
Wtf? Can the dog go out to shit without her making a deal of it? He doesn't get "locked out" he gets put out to do his business. And what was the point of that comment when the video is about the cat? Its like she looks for reasons to being up the dog in a negative way. And it's always out of context.
Why must we make the dog a topic.all.the.time in such a negative way towards me.
I don't get her obsession with it. She knows that dog means everything to my SO and it would be a real problem in our relationship if I truly hated him as much as she makes it out. I'm just fed up with her comments and I'm afraid she's gonna do things like that when the baby is here too and try to cause spitefulness between us. Just stupid uncalled for snarky crap nobody needs to potentially instigate.
Is she trying to test out how far she can go pushing my buttons or am i overreacting?
I haven't said anything to her about the matter since explaining to her she was wrong when she first said that to me weeks ago but apparantly that doesn't stop her from continuing on her trip of calling me out i guess or whatever you name that behavior.
I told SO about it and he doesn't seem to care much about her opinion (at least thats what he says) but it just makes me wonder what her underlying problem really is.
Should i nip her making things up that could later cause drama in the butt or should i just let her go on talking her made up crap and making me look like a mean ass towards the dog? Or should i brace for what is yet to come when the baby is here? SO already told me she will get into our business 😮😥 i think i may just be getting an early taste with this...
I know this is minor vs other problems but i just wanted some opinions because i am at a loss with this and if i can steer around a shit iceberg i have coming i would love to do it. TIA and sry this turned out so long