There is way too much back story to even explain but basically my FMIL has serious mental health issues. I could go into grave detail about how messed up my SO childhood was or his sibling's childhood but it's not worth it. The main problem with her is boundaries. It's extremely difficult to set any with her because she's mentally ill. You have to be careful what you say to her because you never know what will set her off.
There have been many cases where she has crossed lines. In most of those, my SO stands up go r himself and/or me depending on who she verbally attacked in the scenario and then there's LC for a few months before we start up contact with her again.
She is just purely exhausting though. We can get along but a lot of what she says on the day to day is just damaging. Without her knowing its damaging. Talking about how much SO and I don't care about her and how she's all alone. How she has no one and is so depressed. How we do nothing for her but she does so much fr us. (She does spend money on us. Random gifts and food in which we don't ask for and tell her not to buy because she's on an extremely limited income collecting disability)
We refuse the gifts we can but if you push her too much on that front then that sends her into a tailspin.
Multiple times SO and/or I have paid bills for her. Bought her things she needed like when her car broke down. SO did this a lot before I came into the picture. She has no other contact with any of her family including her other children because her behavior and the way she uses people has alienated everyone. I understand that at least some of this stems from her mental health issues which she has diagnosed but acts like doesn't exist. She exaggerates scenarios. Her most recent stunt is saying she has cancer and I know she's doesn't because every time I call her out on it or ask to go to an appointment or see proof, she won't provide any.
At this point I'm exhausted, she's on pretty LC. I talk to her occasionally and we see her maybe once a month but I almost feel at this point a CO is an order. It's not fair to my SO that he takes on dealing with his mother all on his own because she hasn't managed to completely alienate him yet. I am 8 months pregnant with my LO and I just don't feel okay about having her around him. It's not a safe or healthy environment. SO has a previous child and tried to have his mother in her life but it was always a mess and involved very LC because she is who she is.
I guess my question is, do you guys think a CO is necessary? It just continue LC? I don't know what is right. And I know you all can be brutally honest. I accept that. Just trying to do what's right before LO makes his arrival. Thanks for reading.
There have been many cases where she has crossed lines. In most of those, my SO stands up go r himself and/or me depending on who she verbally attacked in the scenario and then there's LC for a few months before we start up contact with her again.
She is just purely exhausting though. We can get along but a lot of what she says on the day to day is just damaging. Without her knowing its damaging. Talking about how much SO and I don't care about her and how she's all alone. How she has no one and is so depressed. How we do nothing for her but she does so much fr us. (She does spend money on us. Random gifts and food in which we don't ask for and tell her not to buy because she's on an extremely limited income collecting disability)
We refuse the gifts we can but if you push her too much on that front then that sends her into a tailspin.
Multiple times SO and/or I have paid bills for her. Bought her things she needed like when her car broke down. SO did this a lot before I came into the picture. She has no other contact with any of her family including her other children because her behavior and the way she uses people has alienated everyone. I understand that at least some of this stems from her mental health issues which she has diagnosed but acts like doesn't exist. She exaggerates scenarios. Her most recent stunt is saying she has cancer and I know she's doesn't because every time I call her out on it or ask to go to an appointment or see proof, she won't provide any.
At this point I'm exhausted, she's on pretty LC. I talk to her occasionally and we see her maybe once a month but I almost feel at this point a CO is an order. It's not fair to my SO that he takes on dealing with his mother all on his own because she hasn't managed to completely alienate him yet. I am 8 months pregnant with my LO and I just don't feel okay about having her around him. It's not a safe or healthy environment. SO has a previous child and tried to have his mother in her life but it was always a mess and involved very LC because she is who she is.
I guess my question is, do you guys think a CO is necessary? It just continue LC? I don't know what is right. And I know you all can be brutally honest. I accept that. Just trying to do what's right before LO makes his arrival. Thanks for reading.
