Grandma is 90. BG..she has been a huge enabler of my biomom who was found guilty of child abuse and neglect against me. She raised me for part of my childhood and I used to think I was close to her, but in recent years, she has made it clear that her daughter (my biomom) is more important to her than me or my children. Last summer, we were supposed to visit her for my birthday. She cancelled at the last second to have biomom and biomom's daughter and her two kids. Her two kids are both drug users with the younger one having a serious drug problem. The younger one was 15 last year and even posting on social media about her drug use while at grandma's house. Older one was mocking and making fun of grandma while there and posting it on social media. She was also making tons of fun of other relatives she saw while there, very degrading and rude. Younger one got arrested, again, before they went and was supposed to be on supervision so I am unsure if she was supposed to go out of state to go there. While they were there, they broke in to grandma's FB page and email and put me on block. They also put me on block on her cell phone and home phone. I had to reach out to a cousin so the cousin could get me off block. Grandma still insists it was an accident and they never would have done that on purpose. My children were very hurt by Grandma cancelling at the last second last year to have biomom. The reason she cancelled at the last second was biomom was coming earlier in the summer, but biomom's daughter's daughter got arrested. So they postponed and went the week me and my family were supposed to go. We were very hurt. Other events led us to consider CO. This was the main thing, but other things surrounding it led us to consider it. Biomom calls CPS on us a lot and claims to be a witness to stuff and when a police report ended up being made, I sent the copies of the report and findings to my grandma so she could see biomom really does this, and grandma insists it must be a misunderstanding. You get the idea.
Grandma asked us months ago to come this summer. We made plans to come. Grandma calls a few weeks ago to say hi. I answered, She was not on CO yet, but, I did not want to talk to her anymore. In the course of the conversation, I ask Grandma what she is up to this summer in all and she mentions biomom and her daughter and her kids are coming and when. It was the same week she invited me. I reminded Grandma. Grandma told me to just pick a different week. I said no, we already had this planned. My husband works and took the week off, biomom and her daughter and kids do not work, they can go whenever. Grandma tried to sweet talk, literally. She was all "oh, you are going to be mad at me?" like she could just be all sweet and act innocent. And I said "yes, I was already upset you did this last year but did not tell you because you are getting old and I did not want to upset you. But now you are doing it again and I am getting old and these are my children's childhoods. This is not nice and you are not doing the right thing" and so on...I am trying to remember what I said, but you get the jist. We end up hanging up with her saying she would see what she could do.
I do not hear from her for a couple weeks. Then I try calling her and she picks up and hangs up. Later, she "butt dials" me. It was clear she was not busy or anything. Then I do not hear from her. I posted here at some point. I decided to CO her after posting here and discussing with my husband.
A week or so ago, she texts that biomom is coming on a different week so we can come now on the original dates. I did not answer. A week passes and she calls, but hangs up after the first ring. Another week passes and she texts my adult son to ask why I am not answering. He ignores it. He has been here through it all and he is very hurt by her behavior.
Last night, late, I got up to breastfeed the baby. I guess I was looking at my phone, it was all a haze, and I saw she had texted and answered back "probably." In the morning, when I got up, at some point I remembered, it was hazing, but I think maybe I texted my grandma, maybe I dreamt it. No text on my cell phone so we are fine. Then I find the text on my computer! I must have looked at my computer! My computer was next to the rocking chair!!!
Now what???? I know, I know..no "middle of the night while feeding the baby in a haze texting."
I am not out to hurt anyone or nor do I have much of a temper. I am not know how to handle this. I am thinking of just leaving it alone and closer to the time, claiming an emergency or something and cancelling. I do not know. I messed up. I think I will not leave my computer in the bedroom anymore at night, or cell phone. I am just so tired. He is having a growth spurt and has been nursing a ton lately. The baby is I mean.
I do not want to be passive aggressive or even aggressive here. Suggestions?
