Just curios as to how your relationships are with so , friends , and children if any . Growing up my mom was a financial mother . Nothing more I can remember the last time I hugged my mom was when I was in the hospital and it came with a pat on the back . Only time she tells me she loves me on my bday and if I'm hospitalized . Which was 3 X .
Growing up I was told I was worthless , ugly , a loser , no one loves me .the list can go on and on . She rarely spanked me and my sis (1 year younger ) . She is the golden child . I noticed I've alwaYs longed for her approval which rarely came . She said some very hurtful things when I was pregnant with first DD **trigger *** she was diagnosed with fetal Hydrops and a club foot which my mom frowned upon saying why would I want a deformed looking baby . To just abort I was 6 months . Sad to say she psssd at 8 months fetal . _****** end trigger *** I have a second DD. Lo does not like her so she is never left alone with her .
Now to my ? I've noticed i choose the guys who treat me like dirt. I accept things that no one should. Childs dad doesn't hit me . So that's not a issue . He's sorta verbally abusive always dictating me . If he has a great idea I do along with it for the sake of not fighting . He's always so moody .Relationshop before that he was controlling and abusive . Took me 3 long years to leave .
I feel so dumb sometimes . Why do I tolerate this . I suffer from anxiety , sometimes depression . I have a heart problem on top of all of this . Everyone tells me to cut my mother out of my life . That she is the reason I suffer from my depression. I don't live with her yet she will text me some fuck^*d up stuff . Which gets me all in a funk .
If you got this far , thanks ! Sorry it is all over the place .
Growing up I was told I was worthless , ugly , a loser , no one loves me .the list can go on and on . She rarely spanked me and my sis (1 year younger ) . She is the golden child . I noticed I've alwaYs longed for her approval which rarely came . She said some very hurtful things when I was pregnant with first DD **trigger *** she was diagnosed with fetal Hydrops and a club foot which my mom frowned upon saying why would I want a deformed looking baby . To just abort I was 6 months . Sad to say she psssd at 8 months fetal . _****** end trigger *** I have a second DD. Lo does not like her so she is never left alone with her .
Now to my ? I've noticed i choose the guys who treat me like dirt. I accept things that no one should. Childs dad doesn't hit me . So that's not a issue . He's sorta verbally abusive always dictating me . If he has a great idea I do along with it for the sake of not fighting . He's always so moody .Relationshop before that he was controlling and abusive . Took me 3 long years to leave .
I feel so dumb sometimes . Why do I tolerate this . I suffer from anxiety , sometimes depression . I have a heart problem on top of all of this . Everyone tells me to cut my mother out of my life . That she is the reason I suffer from my depression. I don't live with her yet she will text me some fuck^*d up stuff . Which gets me all in a funk .
If you got this far , thanks ! Sorry it is all over the place .