I came here to post because I'm having an issue with my FOO and I've seen the advice you give and you folks here are tough and I think I need that. This isn't really something that requires immediate action but I need advice.
So background:
So my family is relatively dysfunctional. I mean, I thought it was fine but when compared to a friend's family, we are way off.
It really upsets my mom that my brothers and I are not close. My mom and her brother are not close, but she's close with her sister.
My brothers and I were okay, at least I thought when we were growing up. I mean, I was in charge of them and they were allowed to do a lot more things than I were and that became very clear when they hit high school but they always thought I was favored because I got to do things first and they thought they should because there were two of them and they were boys.
I moved out and left them when they were in high school and they felt betrayed and their behavior went downhill. I spent a few years falling apart and failing at life and just wanting to be left alone. I was careful to keep my issues away from them and I tried to still be around some to support them but it was hard and they felt I betrayed them by telling a few of my friends about things our dad did with me. And I got tired of people always taking my things so I'd try to argue that no I bought something when someone took it but I should have known better to bring anything I wanted to stay mine into that house, none of us were allowed to have anything that was just ours or any privacy so why would that have changed.
Current issue:
Now I'm 29 and my brothers are 26 and my mom is upset that one of my brothers didn't tell me he proposed to a girl on Friday and I didn't find out until Saturday evening and didn't directly hear from my brother until Sunday evening. I was upset too because it's a big decision and I would have liked to hear from him earlier but I should have known better. He didn't tell mom until Saturday evening but our dad knew Friday.
With that and my dads health propelling her, my mom wants my brothers and I to discuss my issues and my problems especially since the family is growing with my brother's future marriage and the fact that I've been with my boyfriend for five years (my mom said about him 'who knew you would date someone for so long') and of course my brothers have issues with him too.
Like, is this a bad idea to have a ctj with my brothers? Is this a crazy thing in my crazy family?
I'm sorry if I left things our or I need to explain or provide more information. I tried to be clear enough but there's already a lot of background there and I'm sorry I know it's a lot.
So background:
So my family is relatively dysfunctional. I mean, I thought it was fine but when compared to a friend's family, we are way off.
It really upsets my mom that my brothers and I are not close. My mom and her brother are not close, but she's close with her sister.
My brothers and I were okay, at least I thought when we were growing up. I mean, I was in charge of them and they were allowed to do a lot more things than I were and that became very clear when they hit high school but they always thought I was favored because I got to do things first and they thought they should because there were two of them and they were boys.
I moved out and left them when they were in high school and they felt betrayed and their behavior went downhill. I spent a few years falling apart and failing at life and just wanting to be left alone. I was careful to keep my issues away from them and I tried to still be around some to support them but it was hard and they felt I betrayed them by telling a few of my friends about things our dad did with me. And I got tired of people always taking my things so I'd try to argue that no I bought something when someone took it but I should have known better to bring anything I wanted to stay mine into that house, none of us were allowed to have anything that was just ours or any privacy so why would that have changed.
Current issue:
Now I'm 29 and my brothers are 26 and my mom is upset that one of my brothers didn't tell me he proposed to a girl on Friday and I didn't find out until Saturday evening and didn't directly hear from my brother until Sunday evening. I was upset too because it's a big decision and I would have liked to hear from him earlier but I should have known better. He didn't tell mom until Saturday evening but our dad knew Friday.
With that and my dads health propelling her, my mom wants my brothers and I to discuss my issues and my problems especially since the family is growing with my brother's future marriage and the fact that I've been with my boyfriend for five years (my mom said about him 'who knew you would date someone for so long') and of course my brothers have issues with him too.
Like, is this a bad idea to have a ctj with my brothers? Is this a crazy thing in my crazy family?
I'm sorry if I left things our or I need to explain or provide more information. I tried to be clear enough but there's already a lot of background there and I'm sorry I know it's a lot.