Bg: My XH and I dated through high school, married at 20, had 3 kids then he walked out after 10 years. The kids live with me in our hometown, his family lives here. He lives out of state with new wife and sees kids 2 to 3 times per year for 6 years.
I was close to his family b/c we were together so long and worked hard to maintain good relations after our split so the kids wouldn't lose grandparents , Aunts and cousins.
His sisters and I get together often with all the kids. His parents do a weekly dinner with my kids and often my DH and I stay and chat when we pick up. My kids go there for part of most holidays and depending on timing, sometimes DH and I stay for a while before heading to my family or his.
Over the last year, XH has made many PA comments about my time with "his" family- especially holidays and times I sit for his sisters kids. I have ignored them all, if his family didn't want me there they could speak up, we've shared holidays for 18 years. Now that I'm expecting, they are all excited for the baby. His mom was (jokingly) complaining that I didn't show her the 12 week us pic. I said it's OK, at 12 weeks they all look the same. She said " not when you're the grandma"
Someone shared this story with XH and he sent a series of angry texts about how I was disrespecting his family and DH and I need to get our own family, followed by a rant about don't forget that the older 3 are "his kids ".
He has no real interest in our kids , but now that he's angry I worry about it making everyone uncomfortable. IDK if he said anything to his family, but I don't want to come across as the bad guy or be crossing the line somehow. Just looking for an outside opinion- is it normal/ acceptable to remain close to an X's family after divorce with kids? Does it looks nuts to the greater world?
I was close to his family b/c we were together so long and worked hard to maintain good relations after our split so the kids wouldn't lose grandparents , Aunts and cousins.
His sisters and I get together often with all the kids. His parents do a weekly dinner with my kids and often my DH and I stay and chat when we pick up. My kids go there for part of most holidays and depending on timing, sometimes DH and I stay for a while before heading to my family or his.
Over the last year, XH has made many PA comments about my time with "his" family- especially holidays and times I sit for his sisters kids. I have ignored them all, if his family didn't want me there they could speak up, we've shared holidays for 18 years. Now that I'm expecting, they are all excited for the baby. His mom was (jokingly) complaining that I didn't show her the 12 week us pic. I said it's OK, at 12 weeks they all look the same. She said " not when you're the grandma"
Someone shared this story with XH and he sent a series of angry texts about how I was disrespecting his family and DH and I need to get our own family, followed by a rant about don't forget that the older 3 are "his kids ".
He has no real interest in our kids , but now that he's angry I worry about it making everyone uncomfortable. IDK if he said anything to his family, but I don't want to come across as the bad guy or be crossing the line somehow. Just looking for an outside opinion- is it normal/ acceptable to remain close to an X's family after divorce with kids? Does it looks nuts to the greater world?