Hello everyone. I'm a long time lurker. I used to be somewhat active on BBC and boards like DWIL with my old username (unable to login to that one anymore, forgot my password and don't have old email anymore). So I have some idea of what you ladies might say about my situation. But I need help, because I know I'm accepting too much crazy into my life. Because of that, and because I'm pregnant again (with twins! ) I decided to make a new username. This may get long, so thanks in advance to all of you who read it all. So here we go...
I'm a SAHM of a two year old girl. I'm pregnant with twins (boy/girl), due in December. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years.
I don't quite want to refer to him as "DuH," because I love him very much. But he has upset me so much lately, so I will refer to him as, "H." Our relationship goes back and forth between great and awful. Mostly because of his parents. Sometimes because of mine, I will admit. I'll give you guys a few examples from our past, and will share more in comments if needed.
Ok, when H & I were dating, his parents were kind of weird - fairly nice, but involved a bit too much. Soon after our second date, H told me that his parents wanted to meet me. They lived 2 hours away at the time. So for our third date, he asked if I would like to drive to meet them. I thought it was a little strange, but I went along with it because the first two dates were amazing. On the way to their house, he was telling me that they were excited to see what I was like, and not to be offended if they asked a lot of questions. He said they just wanted to know who their boy was hanging out with. I should've faked sick or something at that point. It was not pleasant, to say the least.
MIL was asking how many children I wanted, when I thought I would have them, what colors I would like for a wedding, etc. on our THIRD DATE. Awkward.
FIL asked me if I had ever been to jail or had any legal trouble... He asked in sort of a joking tone, but seemed to be waiting for a response. H changed the subject, and we got through that day.
A few weeks later, after we were officially a couple, I got a Facebook friend request from MIL. After accepting, I regretted ever having FB. She stalked my entire profile - status updates, pictures, everything - I got notifications that she had liked things from like 2 years earlier! Status updates!
I immediately deleted her.
She was super creeping me! I woke up the next morning to several messages from her, on FB and texts. And a voicemail from H (remember still just BF at the time).
MIL asking what happened, wanting to know if I was mad at her for something. H said something like, "hey, are you mad at my mom about something? She thinks you deleted her from FB. Call me"
I called H and told him what happened. He said something like, "oh she's just older and doesn't understand FB etiquette... Don't think so much of it!"
So, I'm a little ashamed to say, I ended up adding her back and telling her it was an accident to delete her. (I currently don't have FB. I've learned since then, don't worry.)
To make a very long story a little shorter, I'll just say - MIL has always been very clingy and invasive. Calling and texting A LOT. I used to respond more, but not much now. I reply to like 1 out of 5 texts.
Our wedding day and ODD's birth & my postpartum time were difficult times for me because of both MIL & FIL, and my family too. I'll explain more in comments.
And what makes it harder now is that they have moved to the same town we live in. They moved here a year ago "to be closer to [DD]."
Now MIL & FIL show up to our house multiple times a week. They don't usually call ahead, and are not invited by me. Occasionally I have found out later that H has invited them and not told me. We have been fighting a lot about this and have been to counseling a few times because of it.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm a very non-confrontational person. But I'm worried for my marriage, and so anxious because my twins are on their way. I don't want a repeat situation with their birth. What do I do?
I'm a SAHM of a two year old girl. I'm pregnant with twins (boy/girl), due in December. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years.
I don't quite want to refer to him as "DuH," because I love him very much. But he has upset me so much lately, so I will refer to him as, "H." Our relationship goes back and forth between great and awful. Mostly because of his parents. Sometimes because of mine, I will admit. I'll give you guys a few examples from our past, and will share more in comments if needed.
Ok, when H & I were dating, his parents were kind of weird - fairly nice, but involved a bit too much. Soon after our second date, H told me that his parents wanted to meet me. They lived 2 hours away at the time. So for our third date, he asked if I would like to drive to meet them. I thought it was a little strange, but I went along with it because the first two dates were amazing. On the way to their house, he was telling me that they were excited to see what I was like, and not to be offended if they asked a lot of questions. He said they just wanted to know who their boy was hanging out with. I should've faked sick or something at that point. It was not pleasant, to say the least.
MIL was asking how many children I wanted, when I thought I would have them, what colors I would like for a wedding, etc. on our THIRD DATE. Awkward.
FIL asked me if I had ever been to jail or had any legal trouble... He asked in sort of a joking tone, but seemed to be waiting for a response. H changed the subject, and we got through that day.
A few weeks later, after we were officially a couple, I got a Facebook friend request from MIL. After accepting, I regretted ever having FB. She stalked my entire profile - status updates, pictures, everything - I got notifications that she had liked things from like 2 years earlier! Status updates!
I immediately deleted her.
She was super creeping me! I woke up the next morning to several messages from her, on FB and texts. And a voicemail from H (remember still just BF at the time).
MIL asking what happened, wanting to know if I was mad at her for something. H said something like, "hey, are you mad at my mom about something? She thinks you deleted her from FB. Call me"
I called H and told him what happened. He said something like, "oh she's just older and doesn't understand FB etiquette... Don't think so much of it!"
So, I'm a little ashamed to say, I ended up adding her back and telling her it was an accident to delete her. (I currently don't have FB. I've learned since then, don't worry.)
To make a very long story a little shorter, I'll just say - MIL has always been very clingy and invasive. Calling and texting A LOT. I used to respond more, but not much now. I reply to like 1 out of 5 texts.
Our wedding day and ODD's birth & my postpartum time were difficult times for me because of both MIL & FIL, and my family too. I'll explain more in comments.
And what makes it harder now is that they have moved to the same town we live in. They moved here a year ago "to be closer to [DD]."
Now MIL & FIL show up to our house multiple times a week. They don't usually call ahead, and are not invited by me. Occasionally I have found out later that H has invited them and not told me. We have been fighting a lot about this and have been to counseling a few times because of it.
I'm not sure what to do. I'm a very non-confrontational person. But I'm worried for my marriage, and so anxious because my twins are on their way. I don't want a repeat situation with their birth. What do I do?