Here's the issue: DH's family (MIL & GMIL) live across the country from us. He wants to fly down and visit this summer because he's "homesick" and hasn't seen them in 3-5 years. I am in the 1st trimester (would be 2nd trimester for his trip, God willing) of a complicated, difficult pregnancy and don't want him to go in just case I have a scare again.
The part I don't understand: DH isn't what I'd call "close" to GMIL or MIL. He texts or emails them maybe once every 1-2 weeks...rarely calls to talk unless it's a birthday or holiday. I suggested he call more often if he's missing them, but he refuses to do so and insists that he makes the trip instead.
I am trying to be empathetic here, but I think my rocky relationship with ILs is getting in the way of objectivity. GMIL and MIL have said plenty of cruel things about me in the past, including that I'm a cold bitch, controlling, abusive, etc because I wouldn't let DH fly down with our older kids (they just turned 6 and 4 this year). When DH and I were separated for awhile (years ago, for unrelated reasons), ILs we're glad that I wouldn't be in the picture anymore and "keeping DH and the kids from them." Note also that since DH and I reconciled, MIL and GMIL have made it known that they'd prefer to ONLY see DH and the kids for visits, not me.
When we were early in the marriage and kids were babies/toddlers, GMIL and MIL flew up to visit us a couple times. I was stressed out by childcare and being hostess while DH got to hang out and visit. GMIL and MIL wanted to visit various touristy things in the area, and I said no because 1) it's a hassle with toddlers and 2) was exhausted from hosting and cooking. Therefore, I'm a controlling bitch.
Apparently, GMIL and MIL will no longer visit us up here because "2SkinnyMama causes us lots of stress and creates a lot of tension during these visits." So now the only solution is for DH and kids to go visit them. Since GMIL and MIL refuse to speak with me, I said no way the kids are going and DH agrees. So he wants to go himself. He especially feels obligated to go since he apparently told them last year that he "planned to come down in 2016." Obviously that was under different circumstances.
Basically, it boils down to the fact that GMIL and MIL have been extremely negative towards me from the beginning. I think they are a terrible influence and DH still has a soft spot for them because he was taught that faaaamily is the most important thing. I don't understand why this trip is suddenly so important, but I sure don't want to lose him again over it.
Help?
The part I don't understand: DH isn't what I'd call "close" to GMIL or MIL. He texts or emails them maybe once every 1-2 weeks...rarely calls to talk unless it's a birthday or holiday. I suggested he call more often if he's missing them, but he refuses to do so and insists that he makes the trip instead.
I am trying to be empathetic here, but I think my rocky relationship with ILs is getting in the way of objectivity. GMIL and MIL have said plenty of cruel things about me in the past, including that I'm a cold bitch, controlling, abusive, etc because I wouldn't let DH fly down with our older kids (they just turned 6 and 4 this year). When DH and I were separated for awhile (years ago, for unrelated reasons), ILs we're glad that I wouldn't be in the picture anymore and "keeping DH and the kids from them." Note also that since DH and I reconciled, MIL and GMIL have made it known that they'd prefer to ONLY see DH and the kids for visits, not me.
When we were early in the marriage and kids were babies/toddlers, GMIL and MIL flew up to visit us a couple times. I was stressed out by childcare and being hostess while DH got to hang out and visit. GMIL and MIL wanted to visit various touristy things in the area, and I said no because 1) it's a hassle with toddlers and 2) was exhausted from hosting and cooking. Therefore, I'm a controlling bitch.
Apparently, GMIL and MIL will no longer visit us up here because "2SkinnyMama causes us lots of stress and creates a lot of tension during these visits." So now the only solution is for DH and kids to go visit them. Since GMIL and MIL refuse to speak with me, I said no way the kids are going and DH agrees. So he wants to go himself. He especially feels obligated to go since he apparently told them last year that he "planned to come down in 2016." Obviously that was under different circumstances.
Basically, it boils down to the fact that GMIL and MIL have been extremely negative towards me from the beginning. I think they are a terrible influence and DH still has a soft spot for them because he was taught that faaaamily is the most important thing. I don't understand why this trip is suddenly so important, but I sure don't want to lose him again over it.
Help?