Im so over my MIL. we have too much back history to even put on here but I guess I have to give something so you have an idea of the shit im dealing with. Im 25, DH is 27, we have three kids (3,2,10 months). Been together for 7 years, married for 6 months. we live down the street from MIL (who lives with DH's sisters(25, 1
. Since we have had kids MIL is super fake, controlling, pushy and bitchy. We have laid down the rules, and she doesnt like or respect them. so obvioulsy we keep having issues. We have talked to her nicely, we have given her "rules", and we have put her on time out for two months(we did this twice). each time out makes her behave better but it just gets bad again and pretty quick. Now the issue isnt JUST that cant follow the rules, its her being disrespectful to me and how DH handles her. I guess the issue now is MIL,DH and me.
Recently MIL's sister was in town(she lives on the other side of the world, and was staying with MIL), and we wanted to have her over for dinner. Apparently this couldnt happen unless MIL was there also because "She came to visit MIL", which i guess meant they were attached at the hip the entire visit..
DH told me I needed to handle it. I text MIL that we had issues that needed to be worked out before she was welcome in our house. her reply was "so I cant see my grand children? this is very upsetting". So I said "No, we have issues to work out before that happens. this isnt about the children this is about us" and she said "since its not about the children, DH can bring them to her house instead" without me. I told her she isnt doinganything with our children unless she has BOTH of our(DH and myself) consent, and I told her that she does not have mine.
So she group texts DH and myself asking if it was ok if DH takes the kids to MIL's house. So I replied that I had already discussed it with her, told her NO and she was involving DH just to cause problems. what she was really hoping for was DH to tell me to back downand that he would take them to MIL's. He never responded. I told her she doesnt get to be disrepectful and go around me reguarding issues of our kids. I told her to stop acting like she doesnt do anything wrong and over step our boundaries. to which she replied she doesnt do that stuff...MIL then tells me she will be calling an attorney because she cant deal with this drama and harassment(I thought she was referring to me "harassing her":this gets brought up later). MIL called DH crying. Dh called me and I said id agree to MIL coming over because it was a "special occasion". the visit comes and goes, MIL doesnt even look or talk to me, not that i care.
MIL is always screen shotting our texts and sending them to DH to try and get me in trouble but for the most part DH is ok with what I say and how I handle the situation even though hed never talk to him mom like that.
Anyways DH later tells me that in the conversation they had on the phone, MIL saying she was going to "get rights" to our children. Since we are keeping the kids from her. DH told me that he shot that down and said he never wants to hear her say that again.I told DH if she ever treies anything Ill get a restraining order. DH told me that if she ever tries to take legal action that he will support me, but he wont to tell his mom that. this all was about a month ago.
About 2 weeks ago. DH and I get into a big fight about MIL. he takes the kids to the park to visit with his sisters. and SURPRISE MIL is there too. sisters avioded saying MIL was going because they knew we wouldnt have gone.anywyas kids are there without me. they are gone about 2 hours and when they come back my oldest who is 3 says "MIL said not to tell mommy." we questioned him but he acted shy or like hed done something bad and kind of cowered and didnt say anything else. I flipping my shit. Anyone telling my kid to keep anything from me is a fucking no-no. DH wrote it off that he was making stuff up because it didnt make sense why MIL would say anything to him..SO DH believes our son is lying. which pisses me off in itself.. what if this was a different scenariou and our son have been touched inappropriately or something. would he believe him?! doesnt sound like it.. anyways
so last weekend DH's grandma was in town. same situation happens again pretty much. its a 'speciall occasion" bullshit, they cant be seperated, DH's grandma cant come alone...whatever.I agreed to going to MILs house where the grandma was staying to visit for an hour BUT MIL and I are going to talk before that happens. MIL is too busy for the two days leading up to the meeting so i text her and tell her Id like to establish boundaries before we see her. she says "ok". now this is where it gets petty.. Anyone with an iphone knows that when youre tecting another iphone user the texts are blue. well all texts leading up to the rules were blue. after MIL says "OK" everything goes green. at first I wrote this off because they were long texts and maybe they send differently because of that..idk whatever.. well a few days later I text MIL inviting her and SIL's to our kids birhtday party. a few days passed, SIL's ask DH if were having a party for the boys and he says yes you were already invited, B already sent the info to MIL. so we know now that the reason those texts were going green was because MIL blocked me. She intentionally blocked me before I could send her the text with the boundaries that i expected to be respected. Fucking childish. DH of course said he doesnt think she was immature and blocked me but that she probably didnt have service or some bullshit.. DH does this ALLLLLL the time. gives his mother the benefit of the doubt..and he does so wrongfully everytime, yet hasnt learned his lesson yet..
anyways thats the current BS that MIL has done.. I just dont know how to handle it anymore... You guys are brutally honest and thats what im hoping for.. Dh has recently come to me telling methat he misses his mom and he doesnt want our kids to grow up without her, but I dont want her around anymore. She is so disrepectful and its disrepectful that DH is letting her get away with all this shit. This woman is coming in between our marriage (because I dont want to just let her walk all over me and disrepect me). DH stands up for me for the most part but he sugar coats everything he says to his mom. I feel like if he goes to her and says "look youre disrepectful to my wife and have never followed the rules, this is your last warning before we cut you our completely." then she will actually change. DH will never say that though..
ugh this is all so long so butchered and so fucked up.. I just hope someone can make sense of it all so you can offer advice...
