So a little background -
I'm 25, DH is 27. We just adopted our DD in september after 7 years of infertility/losses. My mom & stepdad have been married since I was in elementary, and I have an 18yo sister from their relationship. They're marriage has been nothing but hate from the get go. The only reason why they are together is my mother is materialistic and wants his money and he's too much of a doormat to stand up for himself. They argue all the time, my mother is awful to him. Always looking for an argument, nitpicking, putting him down. My sister is in college at the moment. So anyway, we moved a year ago for my husbands job about 4 hours from home. Several family members have been out to visit including mom. Most of the time when mom comes out to visit she doesn't ask, just tells us she's coming & gets all butt hurt if that time doesn't work for us. Since we brought our daughter home, she has been nothing short of boundary stomping. For example, since we adopted, we didn't want anyone at the hospital visiting until our daughters birth mother was discharged (we didn't want all our family there at such an emotional time). Well she whined and cried until we finally said ok you can come for a little bit. She has been complaining about washing her hands every time she sees DD. I ask EVERYONE to wash their hands, she just makes a big deal of it. We came home about two weeks after DD was born and she felt the need to take her out of her car seat without asking. The family all wanted a turn to hold her and my mother whined and cried about how it was her turn the whole time.
So fast forward to this weekend...my mom and sister came to visit after my sister was having some anxiety issues at college. My mom was AWFUL to her, putting her down and making her feel worse. I was not happy with that....my mother knew I wasn't happy with her so she went to her hotel room and my sister stayed with us. She came back in the morning to pick up my sister and see DD before they left. The whole time she was kissing DDs head, I'm not exaggerating when I say she held her for an hour and kissed her every 2-3 seconds. I was about to lose it. Then my sister wanted to hold her and she made a big deal about that. Every time I take her to feed or change her she holds onto her so I literally have to pull my DD out of her arms. She kept saying "You want to come home with grandma? She wants to come home with grandma" literally like 15 times. Okay it was funny the first time like haha she's not coming home with you. Then it was annoying.
So she texts me this morning after not talking to me for four days and asks for a picture of DD. I said no not until you apologize. She says she isn't apologizing she did nothing wrong and that I'm awful for holding DD against her. She said she bought me and DD stuff and I'm ungrateful and blah blah this is how I treat her after she came out here...it's always a guilt trip with her. It's always about STUFF, if she buys something then her actions are somehow okay. So I stopped texting her, we are going home in 2 weeks and I don't even want to see her.
On the other hand, I feel KIND OF bad because my whole infertility/loss journey she has been by my side and has made a trip out here when I desperately needed someone to be here when DH was on a business trip...
What do I do? I'm tired of her always playing victim. I also highly suspect some sort of bipolar with her..
TIA
