Hey ladies, I'm a lurker but never posted until now. I know this is supposed to be in laws, but I'm hoping this is ok. I do have to give some BG for this to make sense and I will try to make this as short and concise as possible. Thanks in advance!
BG: I am the oldest of 5, my sperm donor is a classic narc, religious to the extreme, very emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically under the guise of discipline. He has been CO since he and my mom divorced, he got custody of the 3 youngest, he didn't want me or my brother because we were to difficult to control. I was 16 at the time of divorce and pregnant after date rape.
My mom has always had issues, she was a SAHM, SD was abusive to her and she stayed married to him for 17 years. She was weak and depressed, stayed in bed a lot, mood swings out the wazoo. I had to become an adult very quickly, and at a very young age, I made sure the kids were fed, the house was clean, she bf'd so I took care of the babies until it was feeding time. We were supposedly homeschooled, but I taught myself, I taught my siblings, I basically was mom and they were my kids.
FF to after the divorce, mom got a job, but I had to get one too because she couldn't support us on her own, so once again I was taking care of the family and a newborn (yes I kept him) basically on my own. Mom seems to be borderline alcoholic, but denies a problem.
FF a little further, she got remarried and seemed to be happy finally, I get to move on with my life, knowing mom is taken care of now (yes I know now how messed up that is) I get married to an abusive mommas boy,went through 4 mc's before having a baby, divorced after he rolled on our baby daughter. I realized I need help and got therapy. I grew a spine, and it is nice a shiny.
I met my current SO, wonderful man, everything I need. We have been trying for a baby for 2 years and have had 3 mc's.
I am the only normal functioning person in my family. However I do love them and still spend time with them. My mom was getting so much better until she fell at her job and broke her ankle in a couple places. This was two years ago, she still has issues walking, and has gained quite a bit of weight. But she doesn't always go to physical therapy, doesn't take pain meds, doesn't work out. Started drinking more, now has "anxiety" about going out alone, pretty sure she is a hypochondriac. She is also extremely religious now, and is upset that SO and I don't plan to get married.
Current problem: We went to Florida to visit them for Thanksgiving last year, just for a weekend, and it actually went really well, we had a lot of fun, and decided to do it again for Christmas with the whole family, my siblings were coming too. Mom was very excited, talked about plans, sightseeing, going to disney and the beach. We got excited too, we were staying for a week this time, we arrived on saturday evening. Sunday we went to see manitees, sunday night we thought it would be fun to play a game, my DS picked one he liked and everyone, except my mom gathered around the table. She was drinking and stomping around the kitchen muttering about us kids leaving things a mess, stepdad kept asking her to come play, DS asked her to come play, she ignored both of them and continued muttering. DS asked me why Gma was so angry, and I said very loud and clear that I didn't know why, but that we can play without her, and then she came and sat down. SO started explaining the rules, and without warning she gets up and stomps back into the kitchen and starts PA lecturing the sink about how we don't know her at all, I asked SO to take DS to the other room, and went off on her about acting that way in front of DS. She says that she didn't understand the game, and whines about us not picking a game she already knew. I told her she was being utterly ridiculous, and walked away. SO and I talked about leaving, but I really wanted to spend time with my siblings.
monday ended up taking mom grocery shopping since step dad was working and she just couldn't go alone. She bought so much food, and so much liquor it barely fit in the car! Tuesday we did nothing.
The plan was christmas eve we would spend all day at the clubhouse they rented (downstairs from their apartment) swim in the pool, play a bunch of games, and precook christmas dinner. Christmas day we planned to open gifts and then go to the beach, come back and heat up dinner.
Well morning of "eve" she doesn't wake up till 11, step dad goes and gets keys for clubhouse, but SHE isn't ready. Next thing I know she is "starting" christmas dinner in her kitchen, and expects me to stay and help her, I told her no and got DS ready for pool. We go play with him, mom texts SO and asks if he would make eggnog, he says yes but that he will need to come get her mixer and bring it and the ingredients down, and we go up to get them. She then changes her mind and wants the mixer to stay in the apartment and him to make it there, I told her that I've had enough and that everyone is hungry, there is no food in the clubhouse, and that if she wants help cooking everything needs to come downstairs like we planned. SO and I end up ordering food from a greek place that was open, mom didn't come downstairs until about 7, we took DS up to bed about 8:30, and then went to bed.
Christmas day we decided to leave the next day, let DS open gifts and finally go to the beach and that evening tell everyone we were leaving early. Mom spent most of the morning and afternoon crying and drinking (don't know why) and says she doesn't feel like going to the beach anymore, DS, SO, my sister and I go instead, we come back mom is quite drunk, and not crying yet. So we just tell stepdad that we are leaving, we decided not to tell mom because I was afraid since she was acting so weird that she would grab DS and start crying all over him. We got up at 4 AM grabbed our stuff and left.
I have not officially talked to them about it yet, I found out I was pregnant when we got back, had horrible morning sickness, and then had another mc, it's been a rough few months. I want to know, did I over react? Is she just sick? Should I CO? (sorry it ended up being so long)