So some BG to start with:
DF was married once before. His mother and his ex have always been good friends. After the separation, they became even closer. When I came into the picture, MIL was saying how she had always loved me and that I would always be one of her kids, as we had all been friends before. That was a month before Christmas, when she waited for DF to leave so she could inform me that she didn't like this situation, she wanted DF and his ex to reunite, that his ex was hurt by me being around and that she was one of her children, and that if I hurt one of her children or DF's son she would make me feel pain like I never had before. I left. A few weeks after, we had a CTJM and I let it go.
When I found out I was pregnant in May, she acted happy. Not thrilled, but happy. She told me that things would be hard because of our financial situation, but we would figure it out. I just ignored it and continued on my happy way.
At 20 weeks I started to dilate. I was in L&D for 6 hours and then released with orders for bed rest. We went to his mom's afterwards to pick up his son. We were talking about the possibility of a very early birth. I was terrified, and in tears, having a previous loss and this baby being a miracle as I was told I wouldn't ever have children after my last miscarriage. She knew this. She then proceeds to tell me, "You have to decide if you even want to save this baby. You have to decide. Its just going to make things harder for DF, and you too."
Of course I would want to save her, what the actual fuck. She would have never said this about her other grandkids. I was already emotional. This was it for me and I was done.
Then, DF's ex got angry at me for a variety of BS reasons, she was actually mad because I was pregnant and we only told her after the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. It was my decision and I had my reasons. Well, MIL decides that because his ex is mad, she is too, and they go on a shit talking spree. Whatever, I'm grown. I can handle it. Talk all you want. DF issued a TO on this, and we haven't seen her in almost a month.
Now, MIL is telling DF that she needs to know when the baby shower is, because she wants to go.
I don't want her to! This woman is driving me crazy and I can't decide if it's my hormones or if I'm validated. But I don't want her to ruin this for me. I know this will cause issues but I can't decide if it's worth it or not. What do I do? Do I just tell her "I don't want you there because you haven't been supportive of not only my pregnancy, but my relationship in general and I don't want this day to be negative" or do I just invite her? I don't know. I'm tired of the bullshit and underhanded comments.
DF was married once before. His mother and his ex have always been good friends. After the separation, they became even closer. When I came into the picture, MIL was saying how she had always loved me and that I would always be one of her kids, as we had all been friends before. That was a month before Christmas, when she waited for DF to leave so she could inform me that she didn't like this situation, she wanted DF and his ex to reunite, that his ex was hurt by me being around and that she was one of her children, and that if I hurt one of her children or DF's son she would make me feel pain like I never had before. I left. A few weeks after, we had a CTJM and I let it go.
When I found out I was pregnant in May, she acted happy. Not thrilled, but happy. She told me that things would be hard because of our financial situation, but we would figure it out. I just ignored it and continued on my happy way.
At 20 weeks I started to dilate. I was in L&D for 6 hours and then released with orders for bed rest. We went to his mom's afterwards to pick up his son. We were talking about the possibility of a very early birth. I was terrified, and in tears, having a previous loss and this baby being a miracle as I was told I wouldn't ever have children after my last miscarriage. She knew this. She then proceeds to tell me, "You have to decide if you even want to save this baby. You have to decide. Its just going to make things harder for DF, and you too."
Of course I would want to save her, what the actual fuck. She would have never said this about her other grandkids. I was already emotional. This was it for me and I was done.
Then, DF's ex got angry at me for a variety of BS reasons, she was actually mad because I was pregnant and we only told her after the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. It was my decision and I had my reasons. Well, MIL decides that because his ex is mad, she is too, and they go on a shit talking spree. Whatever, I'm grown. I can handle it. Talk all you want. DF issued a TO on this, and we haven't seen her in almost a month.
Now, MIL is telling DF that she needs to know when the baby shower is, because she wants to go.
I don't want her to! This woman is driving me crazy and I can't decide if it's my hormones or if I'm validated. But I don't want her to ruin this for me. I know this will cause issues but I can't decide if it's worth it or not. What do I do? Do I just tell her "I don't want you there because you haven't been supportive of not only my pregnancy, but my relationship in general and I don't want this day to be negative" or do I just invite her? I don't know. I'm tired of the bullshit and underhanded comments.
