Was referred here from Marriage and Relationships. Could use some insight and advice. Please take the time to read and I can provide more information if needed.
Thanks.
Please stay with me as i try to explain this in the shortest way possible as I truly want to know if I'm the asshole here or not.
I've been with my husband for over 10 years, married 7. When i first met my husband, he had warned me about his overbearing mom. I met her, realized she was a pill, and we pretty much discussed our future together with her in mind. We agreed she would always live out of state, and we would visit her at least once a year. We have done that over our ten year relationship.
Fast forward to now, we have 2 children and a life full of fun and little problems. Until now. His mother always had DH brother living with her. BIL has a daughter who MIL practically has raised as her own bc BIL is incompetent. BIL had a child with another woman who isn't fond of stepDD so they send her to live with her mom. (Which is fantastic for my niece, so happy for her) BIL moves out of mommy's house, so MIL now has an empty nest and isn't liking it.
So MIL is now alone, but has her 91 year old mother as her only companion. MIL is telling DH how depressed she is and has told me several times she wants to move out by us. She will buy a house and have a bedroom for each of my kids, she complains how seeing her new grandson once a week is so selfish of BIL. She wants more.
Seeing that MIL will want to move near us soon, I touch on the subject with DH. He is so defensive and acts like I am the asshole for not wanting her to move near us. I, on the other hand, thought this was already discussed a decade ago. Suddenly this is news to DH. We fight every time we see her, she makes us all tense! I cannot imagine that being my life. Should I be prepared for a divorce? I cant't have this woman around me every week. She is just too dependent on her children for her happiness.
Please advise! I know I am leaving SO much out for why she is so hard to deal with, but am I wrong?
Thanks.
Please stay with me as i try to explain this in the shortest way possible as I truly want to know if I'm the asshole here or not.
I've been with my husband for over 10 years, married 7. When i first met my husband, he had warned me about his overbearing mom. I met her, realized she was a pill, and we pretty much discussed our future together with her in mind. We agreed she would always live out of state, and we would visit her at least once a year. We have done that over our ten year relationship.
Fast forward to now, we have 2 children and a life full of fun and little problems. Until now. His mother always had DH brother living with her. BIL has a daughter who MIL practically has raised as her own bc BIL is incompetent. BIL had a child with another woman who isn't fond of stepDD so they send her to live with her mom. (Which is fantastic for my niece, so happy for her) BIL moves out of mommy's house, so MIL now has an empty nest and isn't liking it.
So MIL is now alone, but has her 91 year old mother as her only companion. MIL is telling DH how depressed she is and has told me several times she wants to move out by us. She will buy a house and have a bedroom for each of my kids, she complains how seeing her new grandson once a week is so selfish of BIL. She wants more.
Seeing that MIL will want to move near us soon, I touch on the subject with DH. He is so defensive and acts like I am the asshole for not wanting her to move near us. I, on the other hand, thought this was already discussed a decade ago. Suddenly this is news to DH. We fight every time we see her, she makes us all tense! I cannot imagine that being my life. Should I be prepared for a divorce? I cant't have this woman around me every week. She is just too dependent on her children for her happiness.
Please advise! I know I am leaving SO much out for why she is so hard to deal with, but am I wrong?