I am a newly married wife who got pregnant almost immediately and now I need advice with my mother in law.
My mother in law is not the easiest person to deal with, her daughter doesn't get along with her nor do a lot of my husband's friends like her. This comes from the fact that she tends to be very negative, complains about everything and she believes that offense is the best defense so she'd rather hurt you with her words before she can get hurt. In that process we all get hurt and start keeping our distance from her. Of course telling her how to talk to others so they want to be around her is pointless because we all know asking a 65 yr old to change anything is pointless.
So now this is the situation with me - When I got married my husband and I were waiting to leave the country which is why we didn't look for our own place yet and stayed with his parents. One of the first things my MIL started telling me was 'you should not go to your parents house. You have entered your husband's family now so you belong to YOIR husband's family not your own.' Which I found extremely stupid. My husband and I believe that we owe both sides equal time. We continued staying with his parents family and the second month my mother had to rush out of town because of which she asked me to stay home (my home) and take care of my 13 year old brother. Immediately after that my MIL started her shpeel of what a bad daughter in law I am. We came back to her home and I found out my hubby and I had conceived. While we were overjoyed in the second month of my pregnancy I fell extremely ill wherein I found out the only food I could keep down was my mothers food. This is the second day I am staying at my mothers place and my MIL makes my life miserable by calling me everyday and telling me what a horrible DIL I am because I don't belong to my mother's family anymore and all that nonsense. I of course want to stay over at my mother's place because it is a much less negative environment to be in. My husband also wants me to be here. We are hoping the visa should come through in the next two months. However in those two months I don't want to constantly be talking to a MIL who is so negative and just calls me up daily to complain about her life and tell me I am such a bad DIL for taking her son away from her and for staying with my mother. Especially when she actually knows the gravity of the situation (I had to be rushed to the hospital because my Hb count was so less because I couldn't keep food down during the pregnancy).
What do you think? Honest please!
My mother in law is not the easiest person to deal with, her daughter doesn't get along with her nor do a lot of my husband's friends like her. This comes from the fact that she tends to be very negative, complains about everything and she believes that offense is the best defense so she'd rather hurt you with her words before she can get hurt. In that process we all get hurt and start keeping our distance from her. Of course telling her how to talk to others so they want to be around her is pointless because we all know asking a 65 yr old to change anything is pointless.
So now this is the situation with me - When I got married my husband and I were waiting to leave the country which is why we didn't look for our own place yet and stayed with his parents. One of the first things my MIL started telling me was 'you should not go to your parents house. You have entered your husband's family now so you belong to YOIR husband's family not your own.' Which I found extremely stupid. My husband and I believe that we owe both sides equal time. We continued staying with his parents family and the second month my mother had to rush out of town because of which she asked me to stay home (my home) and take care of my 13 year old brother. Immediately after that my MIL started her shpeel of what a bad daughter in law I am. We came back to her home and I found out my hubby and I had conceived. While we were overjoyed in the second month of my pregnancy I fell extremely ill wherein I found out the only food I could keep down was my mothers food. This is the second day I am staying at my mothers place and my MIL makes my life miserable by calling me everyday and telling me what a horrible DIL I am because I don't belong to my mother's family anymore and all that nonsense. I of course want to stay over at my mother's place because it is a much less negative environment to be in. My husband also wants me to be here. We are hoping the visa should come through in the next two months. However in those two months I don't want to constantly be talking to a MIL who is so negative and just calls me up daily to complain about her life and tell me I am such a bad DIL for taking her son away from her and for staying with my mother. Especially when she actually knows the gravity of the situation (I had to be rushed to the hospital because my Hb count was so less because I couldn't keep food down during the pregnancy).
What do you think? Honest please!